KakaIru One-shots [Abandoned]

Rejection

Pairings: KakaYama, one-sided KakaIru

Iruka didn't think it'd hurt so much to be rejected. He thought it'd be just a quick blow, a small wound that would heal within a week.

But it wasn't like that. He had been crushing on Kakashi for years, and when he finally had enough courage to confess, he had been shot down quicker than an enemy nin.

"I don't love you, Iruka. I love Yamato. He's perfect, and you're.... imperfect. How could you ever think you were good enough for me?" Kakashi had snapped harshly, anger in his tone.

"I-I-I didn't m-mean t-to..." Iruka had whispered, tears in his eyes and pain gripping his heart.

"Leave. You're not wanted here." Kakashi had snarled with such malice Iruka couldn't help but stumble back. "I-I'm sorry..." He had whispered, turning and running away as fast as he could.

A month. It was a month since that day and Iruka was still hurting. 'How foolish of me to think he could ever love me....' Iruka thought sadly, head dropping low as he sat in the tub one night.

It hurt. It hurt so much to be rejected. Some days Iruka wakes up, cold all over and yet there's a heat curling in the pit of his stomach.

Except, it's not a heat. It's more of burning, a feeling of acid burning his every being. It's a feeling of distaste, of self-hate.

"I'm so stupid..." Iruka whispered, curling up and wrapping his arms around himself. For a second he imagined Kakashi, sitting behind him and holding him, whispering reassuring words into his ear.

But then it was replaced by an image of Kakashi yelling, words dripping with venom. Slowly over time his words changed, twisting into darker and darker things.

"You're worthless."

"Useless."

"Why don't you just die?"

"Nobody will ever love you."

"You'll always be alone."

Iruka has nightmares about it. He's always sitting alone in a dark room, freezing air whipping against his body with harsh intensity.

Kakashi walks towards him out of the shadows, all smiles and nice words and fake cheerfulness. In the dream he loves him, and the whole room lights up.

And then he walks in the room. He smiles, the warm air ruffling his short brown hair. He greets Kakashi, a simple, "Hello, Senpai."

And then the atmosphere changes. Kakashi glowers at Iruka, spitting out acidic words in rapid fire.

"I never loved you. It was all fake." He says, and Yamato laughs as if it was the most hilarious thing in the word.

Iruka wakes up crying.

::

One day Iruka was at the park, sitting on a bench and watching the birds fly by. And then he spotted Kakashi sitting under a tree, reading a book.

Yamato then walked over, smiling and hugging Kakashi. "I love you," he purred at him. Kakashi said it back, kissing him passionately in front of Iruka.

Iruka's heart breaks, and he walks away crying silently. He's almost positive Kakashi is smirking behind his back.

::

Iruka is curled up in the corner of his room, old habits coming back easily. He's thinking of 'what if's', of possibilities. What if Kakashi hadn't rejected him?

What if he had said 'I love you' back? What if Iruka had been good enough, good enough that Kakashi would love him?

Iruka did this most nights now, dark thoughts seeping into his brain. He was always alone. Ever since his parents died he had been alone.

But then Mizuki had come, and he thought he wasn't alone anymore! But then he betrayed him, and he was gone like everyone else.

And it hurt, it hurt so badly because why was he always alone?! He was a curse! All he brought upon himself was pain and loneliness!

Everybody he loved either died or left and he was in so much painpainpainpainpain. Why? Why can't he be happy for once?!

All Iruka ever wanted was for someone to love him. Was that too much to ask? To be loved, just for once?

/\/\/\/\END/\/\/\/\

So yeah that was a shitty story and it was short and more of a drabble if anything but this scene was in my head so I thought 'why not?'. Sorry for not updating, I have no excuse. I'm just lazy.

Vote!

Follow!

Comment!