WHO SAID I SAID

UMAKEMEHAPPY

you ruined all of those pure love songs i listen to. how can i possibly go on listening to them without thinking of your blush? your lips? especially when they curve up into a smile? i couldn't possibly even if i were insane.

i spend my nights thinking of you and everything that we could be. everything that you say, you've done, everything about you.

and i understand that you don't want me, but i feel you accidentally tripping on my heartstrings. i am me, and even i don't want me.

i am both physically and emotionally drained. i'm so dependent on you for happiness and it's killing me. you radiate some kind of warm energy. you are orange and i'm so attracted to the warm glow. i'm so attracted to you and that's why i keep running back to you. i keep coming back to you. i sit at the bottom of the stairs, hoping your glow reaches me. hoping you look back at me with the same admiration, i hope and i can only keep hoping.

but your rejection hurts the most. your honesty, though i say it's alright, it hurts me. it burns me from the inside. i set flame to every intimate thought i've had of you. so i avoid you. i avoid you and yet you keep crawling behind me. you're just as attached.

i skipped school on monday and stayed home instead. i crushed up a pill and laid in bed and stared at the ceiling until you knocked at my door. i let you in and went back to staring at my ceiling. you held me in your arms while tears fell from my face. while the tears were falling from my face, i was trying to fall out of love but i kept falling back into your arms. you're just as attached.

i fall and fall, over and over again because i like the way your arms feel so warm. because i like feeling secured. because i like that you're taller and that your chin rest on top of my head. because i like the way you leave some space in the hug and i walk into it. because i like you fool. i'm just as attached.

you make me happy, genuinely happy.