Of Gods and Monsters

Cat And Mouse

"What can an eternity of damnation matter to someone who has felt, if only for a second, the infinity of delight?"

- Charles Baudelaire

"Were you repulsed by Victors affections---or mine?"

Elek nervously gulped trying in a futile attempt to wiggle free from Ambrus's intense gaze. He had no real answer to the question, currently. He was certainly uncomfortable now, being forced into a literal and figurative corner.

"You're scaring me."

He said finally, in choked out desperation. For a split second Elek could see pain flash across Ambrus's face, but he backed up and gave Elek room to breathe. Elek felt his head stop spinning and he regained his composure. Afterwards, he immediately felt guilt and a strange feeling of loss now that he wasn't close anymore. Ambrus had turned quickly after releasing him, starting to head into the opposite direction, to another room completely. But, seemingly on its own, Elek felt his voice quiver out.

"It wasn't you. You don't repulse me---you know. You never have."

The words felt awkward moving out of his mouth and he didn't dare look at Ambrus's reaction, after feeling his face heat up. His mouth had realized the truth of his words before his brain had. He'd realized, standing there in his brash words, that he'd swatted Ambrus away due to embarrassment, not repulsion.

Ambrus didn't turn, but he'd stopped dead in his tracks, his whole body stiffening when he heard Elek's embarrassing half-confession. Elek felt confidence swelled in him then and added.

"—I'm grateful for what you gave me. Freedom."

Ambrus didn't answer right away, still standing stiffly, perhaps also embarrassed.

"As long as it's not me..."

He said in almost a whisper, barely audible, before he effectively ran away from their awkward encounter, into the other closed room.

--

The next night Ambrus didn't leave the closed off room in the lower section of their house. After hours of waiting for their eventual confrontation, Elek realized he didn't plan on coming out. Coward, Elek had thought bitterly. He'd insisted on poking the answer he'd desired out of his psyche, and now that Elek had all but admitted to it, he'd quite literally locked himself up from him. Selfish.

Elek had agonized over the realization that perhaps Ambrus wasn't one-sided in his affections. He would be lying if he hadn't received an odd and foreign pleasure from the small amounts of touches and pleasant caresses they'd shared, even if they were nothing more than a passing touch of the shoulder, grasp of a wrist. Frustrated and angry, Elek had decided he'd leave alone then, and return to Magyar Theatre. Maybe Victor would have the answers he needed.

--

Once he reached Magyar Theatre a slight rush of excitement touched him, thinking on Victor's promise of more time playing with them on stage. He pushed past the mortals, unconcerned, until he reached the back-area he'd been in the night before. Victor was immediately noticeable among the riff-raff. He was too bright, too elegant, too foreign to miss. Even amongst the other vampír, he stood out like a sore thumb. He turned, maybe sensing him, and smiled.

"Mon'ami! What brings you here for the second night in a row? Where is Ambrus?"

He asked the last question quizzically, angling his head to look behind Elek, like Ambrus might be hiding in the shadows somewhere. Elek cleared his throat to get Victor's attention again.

"Actually, I came here alone. I was wondering if you had some time to speak with me."

--

Once in the comfort of mostly solitude, Victor shot Elek a knowing glance.

"So, what can I do for you?"

Elek shifted uncomfortably for a moment, before finally mustering up enough anger to voice is true motives.

"I need you to tell me what you know about Ambrus. I want to know why you said that it was horrible when 'they' leave? What did you mean?"

The questions and demands left Elek's mouth like a stream, not pausing for breath. Victor laughed, his eyes twinkling at his brashness.

"Oh lá lá, so many questions! So many long, long answers to them, too."

He said, putting his face in his hands, amused.

"I'll answer them, but what do I get in return?"

Elek shot him an exasperated look. Was he really bartering with him for information?

"What do you want."

Victor smiled broadly, enthusiasm filling him.

"I want you to star in the play this time, alongside me."

Elek felt himself turn pale. Him? A part in a play? In front of people? There was nothing more terrifying. It was different from playing an instrument. He was merely the background noise, but to be the star of the show? No way. Victor sensed his anxiety.

"It's a small part Elek, no need to fret. You'll be masked, anyways."

He said idly, putting his head back in his hands, crossing his long legs, in complete control. He reminded Elek of a cat who'd caught the mouse. He pursed his lips, cornered.

"Fine. You have yourself a deal."

Elek thought bitterly about how much stalk vampír seemed to put into these absurd "deal" of words. Victor brightened up considerably, then became instantly solemn.

"Ambrus would tear me to pieces if he ever knew I was telling you all of this. So I will only say it once, so listen carefully."

He had Elek's undivided attention.