* Monica's POV*
I was trying to calm myself down it had felt as if I had been crying forever but it was only about two hours. I finally stopped crying and went to clean up a bit so I wouldn't look so bad. I went into the bathroom I wanted to fall on the floor crying at the sight of the blood but I'd rather not lay in it. I looked in the mirror I looked dead. My eyes empty not showing any emotion and looking as if I was about to die. Well that's because i'm practically dead inside. My heart has so many wounds and they hurt more than anything. I don't think I can ever be fixed again. My dad took half of my pride then Justin took the little drops that i had left that one night.
Okay I don't want to kill my own vibe because i'm not going to lie i'm on a roll telling how i feel but i'm really craving some toast. I went and got some then sat on my bed. I had been craving weird things lately its probably nothing. I sat there watching TV and eating food that i was craving. I threw up twice IT made no sense. Okay now i have to pee. The crap is going on here?
I my thoughts where interrupted by a knock at the door it must be Harry since that note he left me. I was about to go get the door then i looked down at my arms i quickly put a jacket on then went to get the door. Not the face i was hoping to see. It was Taylor i wanted to slam the door and go cry but I stayed strong for now. " We really need to talk." He said with a look of concern on his face. Why would he be concerned about me? He doesn't care about me anyway. " Okay." I said letting him in.
I ran and slammed the bathroom door so he wouldn't have to see the scene from him. Also the new stuff from my scenes. I sat on my bed and he sat next to me. I didn't like how close he was but wasn't going to be rude and move over. He looked me in the eye and took both of my hands in his then in a quiet and serious voice said " Please I'm begging, Let me kill myself." This blew me away i wanted to stop myself from crying but my hands where in his and he had a grip. " No." I whispered so quiet he could barley hear me. " Yes you have to let me I can't live this way anymore I have no one to love and you don't know a thing about my past its almost as bad as yours but it drove me to the point where i almost ended my life.... But you had to save me! Why would you do this to me?!" His voice began to rise as tears pored down his perfect face. " I did it because I love you okay!" Those words just slipped out i guess that's what my heart was trying to say.
" If you think I love my life your trippin I hate it! But you made it better you made it worth living but then ditched me like it was nothing! So i replaced you with someone who wouldn't do that to me because i have been hurt way to many times! I'm aware of when i'm being played and oh trust me you where playing me so bad!" I was now standing with rage in my eyes. Then i looked over at Taylor and he whispered " Then shoot me." I never thought he would say that. " Under on condicion." i said. I got down on my knees and sat in front of him his eyes watering and he looked so broken just so done just like me. " You have to shoot me too." I said looking him dead in the eye. He sat there quiet for awhile i did the same. " What do you mean i have ot shoot you too, i can't shoot you if i'm dead." He finally looked at me like i was crazy. Oh trust me I was. " I mean i have a gun in my hand you have one in yours we stand at a distance and when i say Here's to a happy ending we shoot each other."
He thought about that for a moment of two. Then he looked at me smiling with pleasure from the plan. I knew what he was thinking we where about to get out of this place. I want to go home but home is a place i call hell. I also fear that i might be pregnant and i can't go home if i am my mom will blow it all out of proportion because we live poor. If I had a dime for every time someone told me to go die i woulds have enough money to not need friends for i would have a damn mansion.
I know had to think about two things. One, How was i going to break it to Harry? Two, What would i write on my suicide note. It all brings me joy to think of and i couldn't wait I didn't know when we plan to put this into action but if i knew one thing that's that its going to be soon very soon. The rest of that day me and Taylor looked like the happiest people ever. We where happy for the end the best part was all anyone knew was that we looked happy they didn't know why but they didn't bother to question us. Oh one more thing i'm also worried because if i am pregnant it would be Justin's.
~ I would like to remind my readers this is only a book I don't think this way if I did i don't think I would put it in a book for everyone to see. i don't quite think that makes much sense~ -Monica.G/ Author.
