Life Notes & Love Letters

(A Bit Long)

"Lost In a Moment"

You asked me to write down everything on mind,

And you'd do the same in kind.

You have no idea how crazy it is in here...

I don't even know if i want you to hear...

My heart is wounded,

I'm trying,

Crying,

Wrapping up my heart,

But these bandages are falling off.

The blood keeps spilling

From my bleeding heart,

And i can't fix it!

I've been lied to

Too many times,

Been hurt more times than I can count.

How can I trust you if all you want

Is to make me torture myself like this?

I can't even make out what's going on inside of my own head!

And I'm trying to be honest with you,

But you just want me out of the way!

You've got a problem with following through;

So i've got a problem with following you!

How can you pretend that you don't even notice,

When you already know it?!

My thoughts are

Twirling,

Whirling,

Swirling,

I'm trapped in this hole

And this time I can't dig my way out on my own!

I may be breathing

But i'm not alive!

I'm trapped inside this cage

That you've made inside my head;

Just give me the key!

Why do you look at me like you're surprised?
You could see all this happening to me!

You didn't care,

Cuz i'm your little doll.

You throw me around in the midst

Of any fit you're having.

Whether you're happy or sad,

Is when you tighten my strings

Or let me fall to the ground.

And here I am,

Deciding my future,

While you treat me like a ragdoll.

Whether I make the right decision or not,

I'm sure you'll yell,

Or belittle me.

I'm never good enough,

After all these years trying to

Please you,

All you do is hate me!

There's no other explanation.

So here I stand,

I've shattered here,

All because you wanted to hear what's in my head.

My head's too dark for you.

You come into this maze of emotion,

You might not make it back out!

That's not my word,

That's my friend's!

You'd wonder how he knows,

But it's because he knows me better than you do!

You're supposed to protect me,

Love me,

Keep me safe?

I feel like I'm on fire-

Scratch that,

I am on fire.

Always have been,

How else can I feel so calm

Yet explosive all the time?

You took me in,

And you hated me.

Did you even want me?

Or was this an experiment?

How quickly did you think you could change me into a monster?

I bet you didn't know I'd hold out so long!

I am strong,

Don't doubt that;

You see it through this fight!

And i have bite,

But i would never hurt anyone,

Because i hate how it feels to be hurt!

Did you have to abandon me when I needed you most?

I'm trying to grow,

Learn,

But you left me in the dust,

Told me to fend for myself...

But how can i fend for myself,

If I'm up against you,

And you only care about yourself?

So I'm sorry this was so long,

It's been building up for years.

And I am so sorry you had to find out this way

And that I exploded,

I guess I just got

Lost in a Moment.