I Understand (Reven Reyes/You)

p a r t f o u r

"Y/N, no, no, no, no, no! ABBY!" Raven yelled, she could hardly see, the tears were blocking her vision. She wiped them away as fast as she could, taking Y/N's face in her hands again, shaking it in an attempt to wake her. "Wake up, please, please, please." She pleaded.

"Raven, you can't go past this point, I'm sorry." Abby said, before pushing Raven back as they wheeled Y/N through a door and deeper into the ark. Raven stood, speechless. She was horrified. Just minutes before, she thought her whole life had been solved. The love of her life showed up after she thought she was dead.

The look of confusion on Y/N's face as she was shot was burned into Raven's mind. Raven backed against the wall, burying her face in her hands as she slid down onto the ground. She let out a sob that she had been trying to bite back. As it sprung from her mouth, she couldn't stop the series of sobs that released from her mouth. The tears in her eyes started to sting as her eyes soon became raw from the constant wiping.

Guilt started to flow through her, slipping into the cracks of her damaged heart. Memories of the night Y/N left flooded through her mind. She felt her breaths shake and her sobs grow louder as the images became clearer and clearer.

---

The gin burned her throat as she downed her eighth shot. Gin was an evil substance, it was the only type of alcohol Y/N hated. That's why Raven enjoyed the rebellion, motioning the bartender for another round. The room was already spinning, the flourescent lights of the ark bar now shivering rainbows that wavered and binded with others. She was far from drunk now, Raven had always been a lightweight. But she couldn't stop herself. The faster she could forget the break-up, the better everything might be.

Someone sat next to her as the bartender sat four shots down in front of her. She grabbed the closest one and shot it as fast as possible.

"You might want to slow down before you kill yourself." Wick, Raven's mechanic friend chuckled. Raven ignored him, taking another shot. Wick sighed, watching as she finished her last rounds. She motioned for more, but the bartender refused.

"It's probably a good thing to stop before you can't," Wick added. He'd always had a crush on Raven, but she was always with Y/N. He had a chance now.

"Don't judge me." Raven scoffed, slurring her words heavily. Wick shook his head.

"No judgement here, don't worry." He coughed and awkwardly looked at his hands as Raven slumped onto the counter. "You look beautiful, by the way."

Raven laughed, groggily.

"I'm serious, you do. Well you always do, to be honest." Wick continued. "You know, Raven, it's probably a good thing that things between you and Y/N ended. Now you can move on and not have to worry about her dying."

Raven shot him a look full of venom. Wick instantly regretted what he said.

"That's not what I-. I didn't mean that, sorry. What I meant was that now you have to focus on other things, other people."

"Like who?"

"Well... me. For one." Wick laughed. "I could treat you way better then her. And I would definitely not leave you behind." Raven stared at him, trying to figure out if he was telling the truth. It took her awhile, being as her head was spinning in circles and figure eights. Wick smiled his crooked smile at her, innocently.

She pressed her lips against his, sloppily. It was an awkward kiss but it was enough. They spent the night together.

---

The visions of that night were unbearable to Raven as she sat against the wall. The pain in her chest increased. While Y/N was out saving lives, Raven was back at the ark, cheating on her. Although, in Raven's defense, they were separated.

The memories of when the group came back, making Raven believe the love of her life was dead came back to her.

---

Raven stood at the entrance of the Ark as the van pulled up to the wall. She had a whole speech prepared for Y/N, she had been planning everything the last few days. What she was going to do, what she was going to say. She impatiently tapped her foot as the van parked inside the ark and the wall doors closed behind it.

Rain poured heavily, soaking the ground. Abby came up behind her, lightly touching her shoulder to show presence. Kane jumped out of the passenger door and Monty out of the driver's. Raven wondered why Y/N wasn't driving, she must've been in the back. The two shared a look, she couldn't recognize it. They seemed sullen, hunched over in a sad walk as the opened the doors to the back of the van.

She expected to see Y/N's smiling face as the people piled out of the van. She spotted Clarke, Octavia, Bellamy, and Miller as they jumped out with the various people. Raven got an uneasy feeling in her stomach when Kane closed the doors to the van but she couldn't see Y/N.

Abby started walking forward, going to meet Clarke. Raven followed in step, but as they neared the group, Raven felt the uneasy feeling turn to worry to fear as she scanned her eyes over the rescued. No Y/N. She neared Kane, whose face dropped when he spotted Raven. He stopped walking as Raven pushed past him, searching the unfamiliar faces.

"Raven-" He started but she wasn't listening. A dull ringing in her ears sounded as the fear in her stomach started to hurt.

"Where is she?" Raven asked, confused. She might be asleep in the car, but her friend's faces told her differently. "Where is she?!" She said, louder. Her friends all turned towards her, their eyes filled with sadness. Anger coursed through her as she saw a single tear roll down Octavia's cheek. Bellamy walked up to her, holding his hand out. Raven's heart plummeted in a spiral of thorns and poison. Why was no one answering her?

Bellamy took Raven's hand in his, flattening it before placing something in it. She looked down and fell slave to her own mind as her heart attacked itself, cutting and slashing and freezing. In her hand was Y/N's pendant necklace. The necklace Raven had made her out of a scrap computer piece.

"She's gone Raven." Clarke whispered. Hearing the words made it all worse. The ringing in her ears intensified as the pain burned through her body.

"She sacrificed herself, so we could escape. She distracted the grounders and was about to finish them until she was hit with an arrow and pushed off of a cliff." Monty added, his voice cracking. Raven had no control over herself. She couldn't move, she couldn't breathe.

Her legs betrayed her, forcing her onto her knees in the cold mud. The icy rain mixed with the hot tears on her cheeks as the first sob escaped her quivering lips. She held the necklace to her chest, as another sob came from her, and another. Abby kneeled next to her, wrapping her arms around Raven. Raven struggled against her, trying to move from Abby's grip but she didn't budge.

The sound of Raven's screams echoed through Arcadia.

---

The scream rang through Raven's ears as she rested her head behind her, the tears slowly drying. She heard footsteps, running footsteps but didn't look up as her friends rounded the corner and joined her. They were all there, worried and confused expressions on their faces as they stopped and circled around Raven, catching their breaths.

"Is-is she alive?" Octavia asked. Raven nodded her head slightly. Around her, her friends sighed, relieved and celebrated by hugging each other.

"She was shot." Raven said, quietly. Her friends stopped celebrating and turned to her. 

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Sorry, kind of a short chapter and mostly flashbacks but now you get to see how your girl was feeling while you chilled at the bottom of a cliff. 

Hope you liked it! I don't know if I'll continue though, I might finish off the one-shot next chapter.

Thanks for reading :)