ENTRY FORTY-THREE

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I’m leaving Sugar’s body. Actually, being pushed out. I can feel Sugar slip away from me, but someone else is there, someone or something new, filling up her space and pushing me out. Taking residence and taking over.

Now I’m out of her body, and I can see her. For a moment, I worry I’m seeing her through Hunter’s eyes again. But then I realize I don’t have a body of my own. So how is it that I can see? Perhaps these are dreams and not memories after all.

We are in a small spare office with deep purple plush carpeting and thick brocade drawn curtains. Sugar’s eyes are closed and her shoulders are slumped. The Magician stands beside her droning his words lazily. (Marginalia: How do you know he’s called The MagiCIAn?) I can also sense Hunter in the room with us; feel his energy larger than life as usual.

Seated in front of us is a woman with platinum blonde curls, and her head down limp at her chin. Her body is lithe, thin, full of acute angles. On a small table in front of us is a gun.

The man is saying, “When I tap your shoulder, you will feel an incredible rage and shoot Trudy. She must die. You will not hesitate to kill her. She has betrayed you. Once you shoot her, you will wake up, not knowing what you have done.”

I watch as the man taps Sugar. Her eyes spring open but are glassy as she grabs the gun and points it at Trudy. Sugar’s mouth is drawn into a firm cruel line as she squeezes the trigger. “Click,” the gun says and suddenly I have been sucked back into Sugar’s body and am seeing through her eyes again. 

I look down at the gun in my hand and then at the Magician. His face is long and oval and he has oblique mesmerizing eyes. His ash blond hair is greased in waves above his oval serving dish ears. He smiles at me and says, “Your orders are to shoot Trudy. 

Sugar blinks for a moment, and then says, “I will not. She is my friend. Say, what do you think this is? 

The Magician smiles at Hunter, and Hunter grins back at us.

And then I woke up.

Still on the floor. 

[Deleted]

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