Fight From the Inside

17 | I Carry On Through Stormy Skies

I'm soooooo sorry for such a long wait! I hope you enjoy!

"Yeah, we're gonna be headed down to the pub in a min", Stella said, her voice so low she realized Freddie probably couldn't hear her.

And indeed he couldn't. "Darling, I know you're trying to be incognito, but I can't hear a fucking word you're-"

"I said", Stella started, slight frustration biting at her words, "we're gonna be headed down to the pub in a min." She nervously looked around to Madeline sitting on the couch - she was thankfully totally oblivious to Stella's sneaky planning as she munched on pizza crust while scribbling down her thousandth psychology term for the night.

Freddie could barely contain his snickering. "Can you give me an actual estimation of time, dear? Sitting at a bar by myself isn't exactly gonna get us famous-"

"For fuck's sake, Freddie", Stella whispered. "I'm not 100 percent sure... she looks about five minutes away from throwing her psyche book out her window again, so... 20 minutes?"

"So would you say you're 80 percent sure on the 20 minute estimation? 75?"

Stella frowned, pinching the bridge of her nose between index finger and thumb. "95. 95 percent sure."

"Stel", Madeline called, mouth slightly muffled by the half chewed pizza in her mouth. "Get off the phone with Dave already, I get that you're frustrated you haven't fucked in days but we have psyche shit to do-"

"Oi, shaddap, you little shit!"

"Pardon?" Freddie giggled, and Stella swore she could hear him covering his teeth through the phone.

"You shut up too. We'll meet you there soon. Oh", Stella exclaimed before lowering her volume, "do me a favor and ring Dave. You know, since she thinks it's him we're actually meeting up with."

"Good call, since apparently you guys haven't fucked in d-"

"BYE."

She slammed the phone down, mentally cursing herself for promising to help Roger and the massive headache it was causing. Walking back over to the couch, she eyeballed a clearly frustrated Madeline, who was desperately massaging her temples while re-reading the same line in her textbook over and over again.

"Hey Mads, I have an idea", Stella started, sliding herself onto the arm of the couch. "Since you look like you're seconds away from throwing that damn thing out the window-"

"Better than the fucking roof-"

"...Right. Anyway, uh, I was thinking, maybe we should grab a few pints, you know, to blow off some steam?"

"Stel, the exam is tomorrow-"

"-And you're gonna be worthless at it if you blow another brain cell over that damn book." Stella sighed. Was it working? "You look like you're about to bore holes through your temples. Quit that."

Madeline continued to massage her temples, frowning. "I can't quit, Stel. If I do, I'm gonna throw this book out the fucking window again-"

"Alright, alright, c'mon." She grabbed a hold of Madeline's arm and was delighted to find she didn't offer up a fight. "You need a beer."

"I need ten beers, Stel", Madeline started, pulling her nearby black sweatshirt over her head. "That way I won't throw that fucking book out the-"

"Yes, yes, we're going, let's go."

--

Madeline slammed her fifth pint glass down on the table, holding her hand in front of her mouth, attempting to mask a stout belch rising from her chest.

She failed.

Stella burst out laughing while Madeline turned a bright pink, grinning on in both embarrassment and pride.

"C'mon now, Dave, don't fall too far behind-"

"Mads, you bloody well know I can't keep up with you", he said, swilling the remaining half of his fourth pint in front of her face. "Remember last month? Stel's birthday party?"

"Of course I do", Madeline hiccuped, "I'm the one who had to clean up that m-FREDDIE?!"

Madeline promptly leapt from her chair, nearly knocking Stella over as she raced through the pub to greet a white feather boa wielding Freddie, his black satin bell bottoms and matching shirt darkly shining in the dim pub lighting.

"Absolutely lovely to see you, darling! didn't expect to see you here", Freddie said, winking at Stella from across the bar as he tried to breathe through Madeline's vice grip hug.

"Oh my god, what're you doing here? Come sit with us!"

"Yes, yes! Of course, dear."

She led Freddie back to the group perch in the back of the pub and immediately held up four fingers to the bartender. He shortly returned with four pints.

--

"NO! Nonono, you can't possibly think that-"

"Freddie, I-I sawr what I saw-" Madeline let out a huge hiccup, drunkenly tucking her dark hair behind her ear, only for a strong gust of late-autumn wind to catch it again and toss it playfully in the air, and into Freddie's mouth.

He helplessly slapped at his lips, making a fantastically uncomfortable frown until he pulled the errant strands out and away. "Do you honestly think he would-"

"I DON'T KNOW!"

Freddie's eyebrows shot up as high as the sky she was shouting at. Putting an arm around her shoulder, he softly guided her back towards the entrance to the pub as he put both of their cigarettes out.

"Just give him the benefit of the doubt, Mads. That's all, that's it. Just the benefit of the doubt."

She stopped walking and looked up at him, eyes welling with tears, frowning helplessly at him.

"I thought- or well, I maybe had the feeling that, or maybe just the idea that maybe h-he loved me-"

Freddie squeezed her tight in his arms, her fresh tears spilling down his satin shirt, and for once he didn't care. He needed to fix Roger's fuckup - well, not even truly a fuckup, he thought, just another classic Taylor Female Misunderstanding Incident. He called it a TFMI for short.

"Madeline, don't quote me on this, but I think he might", Freddie whispered, still holding her as the dark wind blew against the two of them. "That's why I don't think he meant to harm you."

She held on to Freddie as people filed in and out of the pub, shuffling by the two of them, and a thought filled her being. Well, it wasn't so much a thought as it was a feeling, a purpose, an intention. She knew what she had to do next, and she knew she had to get it right. The image of Roger walking by the alleyway that night filled her headspace like a massive movie screen and she sighed heavily into Freddie's shoulder.

"Alright. I'll do it."

Freddie ceased his embrace and smiled widely at Madeline, his eyes thanking her with a warm twinkle. He held her hand tightly and opened the door into the pub open for her. She glanced across the road at the incognito studio where Roger had brought her and a for the second time that evening, a thought - or feeling - crossed her mind.

"Hey Fred, when's your next show?"

He paused. "Oh fuck, uh... oh, Wednesday. Here, actually."

Her tears dried by the brisk wind, she blinked into the night with clarity. She nodded at Freddie and stepped inside, ready to join her friends in the pub, and ready to start finding her way back to Roger.