Diana

Darkness

DISCLAIMER: This is a kind of depressing chapter that contains mentions of depression , anxiety and Trauma. If you are sensitive to those issues please be careful and know when to stop reading. You will be able to read the next chapter however be cautious with this one.

Dianna...
The cold December air bites my bare arms as I sit on the roof of Mor and I's house in Valerius. My arms are wrapped around my scarred knees trying to conserve as much warmth as possible.

It has been 3 months since I came home , three months since I found my mate and got my family back , two months since Rhys had his baby boy Dorian- what can I say I've finally gotten my life back.

However it still feels like I'm constantly behind a glass wall. I see my family having fun together bonding over their love of baby Dorian but it feels as if a glass wall is dividing me from it all. As if I'm an on looker to my own life. Mor has been trying to get me to open up to her more but every time she tries I ignore it or change the subject, because the truth is I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. I survived my captivity because the fire inside me was brighter and hotter then the depths of hell I was incased inside. But ever since returning it's like I can't break down the walls around me, every sentence is a jab at me and every smile is fake. I know it sounds mental but it feels as if I have to retain my armour because I've lived for too long with it I can't remember a world without it.

Every night is the same, I come here because it reminds me of a life without all the fucked up shit in my past. A life where my wings still worked ,and the membrane wasn't deteriorated beyond salvation. Because every night my mind replays memories that my heart can't forget. The abuse. The fear. The scars, that are a constant reminder of what a sick man did to a little girl , reminder of how my children and nephew will never know their grandparents and that it's my fault.

Because that's one of the things that kills me the most is the look in Rhys' eyes when I told him it was just me that survived. How it was obvious he wanted her their , Maybe even more than he wanted me there. But I couldn't save her he made sure I was restrained as I watched the light leave her eyes. But still what feels like centuries later I still think I could have done something to save her.

I can feel the tears roll down my face at the memories of flying, my family and the utter feeling of isolation.

Morrigan's POV

I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness and pain crash into me and wake me from my slumber. It wasn't physical pain . No this was mental anguish. I felt the sheets next to me and knew they would be cold.

" not again "
I climb up to the roof in my sleep addled state and see my poor beautiful mate collapsed in on her self sobbing quietly.

I gently make my way over to her huddled shivering figure and pull her into my arms . She lays her head on my chest and I feel her still fragile body wrack with sobs.

" we will get through this baby" I whisper quitely and I stroke her tear sodden hair, " you were so strong for so long let me be strong for you now. Lay down your weapons and shields Didi, because I love you and I'm not going anywhere."

We sat their until her sobs turned to hiccups and watched the sun rise into the sky over our city.

I'm going to save my mate, even if it kills me because if I don't it'll kill her .

What did u guys think ? Ik it's been WAYYY to long since my last update but I hope you kinda liked this.

Ps ik it kinda jumbles around but I wanted it to be as realistic as possible and for Diana to have a scattered train of thought.

VOTE PLEASE because idk if I should continue the story

Laters baby