You arrived to class a few minutes before it was going to start, quickly sitting down in your seat. After several whisper-shouting attempts to get your attention, you were surprised to see a spiky haired boy peek into your classroom, beckoning for you to come out of the classroom.
You caught his gaze questioningly before walking over to him, following him out of the classroom. He anxiously dragged you as far away from the classroom as he could, his golden eyes wide.
" What are you doing here Koutarou?" you asked, confused as to why he was on the second year side, and why he called you out of your class. You hadn't talked to him in several weeks and his anxious, almost nervous behaviour was beginning to worry you, he was never nervous.
" Did you not get any of my calls?" he asked, in between breaths of air. He leaned over, putting his hands on his knees, slightly struggling to catch his breath while keeping his glowing orbs focused on you.
" No, my phone broke yesterday, I haven't been able to contact anyone," you paused,
" Wait, why? what's going on?" you asked, your worry growing immensely more. You didn't think anything major had happened, there was no talk about anything abnormal between your classmates.
" It's Akaashi." Bokuto said in a dangerously low, serious tone, standing up fully. Your felt your heartbeat sped up, making your chest ache and blood run cold.
" What do you mean Akaashi, what about him?" you asked, forcing the words out of your throat, which was tightening with every breath.
" This morning, Akaashi tried waking up his mother for work and she didn't wake up, so they called the ambulance and she's in the hospital" at this point, all the blood drained from your face, and you felt yourself collapsing forward, luckily Bokuto caught you, holding you up.
" Are you okay?" he asked, tucking your hair behind your ear so he could see your face. Your face was pale and your breathing came out in shallow gasps.
" What did the doctors say?" you asked, gripping onto his arm like a stairway railing.
" Akaashi can't see her for another 6 hours, that's all he knows, they haven't told him anything else ." Bokuto said, the stupid smile he usually wore was gone, replaced with a frown.
You studied his golden eyes, they were brimmed with worry, he himself looked terrified.
" Where's Akaashi now?" you asked, willing your body to remain stable.
" He's home I think. I was going to go there but they won't let me leave because I'm failing math, and since I'm graduating in two weeks, I can't miss it."
You felt your breathing become more labored, as you struggled to keep your composure.
Bokuto looked at you, clearly worried. He knew you and Akaashi hadn't been on talking terms recently, but he needed somebody to do something, he needed to tell somebody who cared for Akaashi as much, maybe even more than he did. Bokuto knew Akaashi loved you, and he knew he needed you.
"And Akaashi, he hasn't been the same since the funeral. He doesn't smile at all, like he used to when you were with him. He's like a ghost of himself, and I'm really worried for him. (f/n), he loves you, more than anything, and I know you still love him. Please, if you're not going to do this for Akaashi, do it for me." He looked utterly terrified for Akaashi's well being, basically on the brink of tears.
" Is he alone?" You asked, fighting the worry that had taken over your whole being. He was alone, like he had been those years ago, suffering behind that stoic expression of his. He just described Akaashi to be like a ghost of himself, and that broke your heart. If not having you around did that to him, then you hated to imagine what he looked like without his mother right now.
Bokuto nodded his head, biting his lip, hoping you would say yes.
" I have to go," You said, before running into the classroom and grabbing your stuff from your seat, rushing out of the room despite the teacher's protests.
You drove home, faster than you ever had before, your heart pounding against your chest, while your foot pressed the gas pedal. The rain that had been withholding that morning began to pour, crashing against your window violently.
Once you were outside of your house, you parked the truck, before jumping out of the driver's seat and searching for Akaashi's house key on your keychain.
Crap. You had left it upstairs in your room when you were moving keys to your new keychain. You inwardly cussed yourself out before you quickly went to the side gate of your backyard, before making your way to his. You disregarded the rain that was currently freezing and soaking you to the bone, your main fear was for the boy you loved.
You quickly walked up the steps of the back porch, quietly opening the door which was always unlocked.
You softly tiptoed to the stairs, not wanting to alarm Akaashi if he was there, which you really hoped he was. Once at the top of the stairs, you pushed open his bedroom door, revealing Akaashi on the hardwood floor, with his head in his hands, back against the bed with his knees to his chest.Once he heard the door open, he looked up at you, realizing he wasn't alone.
His eyes were slightly puffy and rimmed with dark circles, his hair was extremely messy, and his cheeks were streaked with silent tears.
In that moment, he looked like just a child again, an absolutely terrified young boy.
His mouth was in a sad frown, and his chest rose with quiet sobs.
You dropped to your knees, crawling over to him to hold his head up. He didn't resist your gesture, closing his eyes as tears streaked down his cheek.
You began carefully wiping away his tears with your thumb, before running your hands through his hair trying to comfort him.
"Keiji." You said softly. Your voice, god, he had missed that joyful sound and the way his name rolled off the tip of your tongue. For once, you were at a loss of words, not sure what to tell him to comfort him.
You pushed down his legs before opening them and sliding in between the gap of his legs, wrapping yourself around his whole body, embracing him.
He hated you seeing him like this, scared and weak. But, as soon as you wrapped your arms around him, he knew he never wanted to leave your embrace. He didn't care anymore what he looked like in front of you, he just was relieved to have you in his arms.
Akaashi put his face in the crook of your neck, as tears slowly streaked down the sides of his cheek. Your arms wrapped around his neck, holding him close to you.
You could feel his chest heaving against yours, while you sat there, body entangled with his on the cold hardwood floor as he embraced your being, soaking wet from the rain.
He missed this, he missed you, so much that it hurt. He didn't ever want you to walk out that door again without saying I love you.
Slowly, he pulled away, his final tears leaving his eyes. You smiled weakly at him, seeing him cry was like watching an angel cry, because he literally was just that perfect. " I love you Keiji," you told him quietly, hoping this time he would say it back. You ran your fingers through his hair and your other hand gently wiping away his tears.
" Everyone I have loved leaves me." Oikawa was right, like usual.
Now, you had to get over your fear of rejection, which had plagued you since elementary school years ago. That sensation of not being good enough to be friends with the other children still haunted you. But, love was not fearful, and if Bokuto told you Akaashi loved you, and he was different without you, then you had to take the chance that he really did love you.
You needed to say something, anything that would prove to him that you would never leave him. even if it meant tearing down your own walls fully and the perfect mask you had so perfectly created.
" I'm going to love you forever, probably even longer than that, because forever isn't long enough to convey my love for you. So I don't plan on leaving you anytime soon. I know you're petrified for your mother, and I am too, I know how much she means to you, and how much you love her, because I do too. And I know the weight of everything is so overbearing on you right now, and has been for the last 7 years. Yes you're strong, so strong, but it's become so heavy, too heavy for one person to lift alone. But, that's why I'm here, to help support you underneath that weight. I may not be nearly as strong as you, but I will be there to support you, and always hold you up.
I need you to trust me that I won't leave you. You're scared and I'm nervous, because love is an absolutely terrifying thing. I was content with being alone because that was for the best right? But then you came and shattered my expectations, I realized I needed you, because you were the reason why I got up in the mornings, why Japan feels like home when I miss America so much. But, you saw all the sides of me, the ugliest, and the best. You found me torn down on that bedroom floor, and you picked me back up and cleaned my cuts. After that day you had still stayed, why?"
Now you were looking at him, holding his chin up so you could study his tired eyes, searching for some sort of emotion.
YOU ARE READING
Inside Out ||Akaashi Keiji x Reader||
Fanfiction(Akaashi Keiji x Reader) He regretted not saying those stupid words. He knew your greatest insecurity was not being good enough, and here he just let you walk out that door, feeling as if you weren't enough. But you were enough. You were everything...
