𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐑 ☁︎︎ 𝗋. 𝗍𝗈𝗓𝗂𝖾𝗋

Daydreams

Lilian's POV

No one had talked about a plan on how to get this stupid ass clown out of Derry and back to hell. We just ignored it, We needed Beverly, Mike, and Ben we were almost nothing without them now.

I walked out of school to Richie's where he had been sitting on the roof of his window, there was a ladder next to the roof so I climbed it. As a pleasure I started smoking cigarettes. And unfortunately I got Richie into it too.

I gave him a kiss, and he gave me a cigarette as I lit it up with my dad's damaged "California" lighter, I took in the heavy unhealthy poisonous smoke. I breathed it out in calmness and Richie looked at me with Worry in his eyes, he took the cigarette from my lips and I shouted: "hey! I was using that!" He cooed: "not anymore you're not." And he put it in between his lips. I rolled my eyes and I slid down the roof and stuck the landing, his second floor wasn't really that far from the ground so I just went for it.

"Jesus, could you be anymore hyper?" Rich asked, I gave him a sly smile and said: "Aw cmon you pussy, Get down here." He slid and he fell on his back, I ran to him and yelled: "Shit, Rich are you okay???" He gestured his hand and told me to come closer, he gave me a quick peck on the cheek and I quickly pushed him away, got up and almost walked off, but he pleaded: "you're not even gonna help me up?" I smirked and offered my hand to him.

He got up and we went to the back of the school, we had vandalized and and wrote with spray paint: "go suck a sailor's sour dick assholes" we then quickly ran as the security guard chased us. We went into an alleyway and then it lead us to the park.

We ran to where we mounted our bikes, we got on them and rode as fast as we could, I was looking back at a screaming Security Guard and then looking at Richie and we were laughing our asses off, for a split second my mind knew it was the wrong thing to do, but it felt right. It felt like any piece of good morals in me had went away and I was getting revenge on the world for not giving me the life I wanted.

After that, we went to Bill's smelling like cigarettes and Spray paint, Bill opened his door and we walked right in, he asked: "h-have you g-guys been s-s-smoking?" We both stayed silent glaring at each other, Bill answered himself and said: "I'll t-take that as a yes." We both looked at the floor in guilt, but Bill said: "don't worry you little sh-shits, I'm not gonna judge." We all smiled at each other and went up to Eds and Stan.

Eddie said as we walked in: "ugh! You guys stink!" "Nice to see you too." I replied. I felt a pair of eyes on me. I looked around to see Stan looking away from me as soon as I looked at him, I was confused at first but I decided to not let it bother me.

We were sitting and joking around, until Bill asked: "Hey guys, c-can I try a cigarette?" Richie laughed and said: "No, boy. You are far too young." Bill rolled his eyes, he soon started to tackle Richie and took the box of Tobacco from his pocket, I was too busy rolling on the floor laughing.

Soon I finished my giggle fit and I threw Bill the lighter, I knew I was a bad influence on my friends but screw that. We are all fucked up in the end. After Bill breathed out the smoke he coughed and I laughed at his attempt to be "chill" I handed him a glass of water. And he politely took it. I patted his back and said: "Its not easy the first time, Billyboy."

Stan and Eds were grossed out and Richie said: "Aw, cmon you know you guys wanna try it, You're just acting to be goody two shoes." I threw Stan the lighter and Richie threw him a cigarette, soon we were all smokers. At the age of 14.

We were lost, our parents acted responsible. But they only did that for people to see, behind closed doors is a whole new mystery. Other kids might say "look at them, they're failures" but they're just jealous they aren't free and unwatched like us.

Ever since, what happened with IT I felt the need to be cold, mean, and heartless to anyone other than the losers club; They were my true family. Its like I had this feeling to put up an act of the resident "bad rebellious girl" but when I crack, I break.

I had gotten home with Richie and when I changed to my Pajamas he asked me: "Lili, are you sure you're okay?" I nodded my head; feeling tired, Richie slept next to me. I couldn't sleep because all I was thinking about was that question.

Am I really turning into someone else? not just my cover; but me. Have I disgraced my friends with my terrible influence?

I woke up in the morning and I could smell something delicious being cooked, I rushed down stairs and I saw Richie cooking me and him a plate of bacon and eggs.

We sat down and ate breakfast quietly, I then broke the awkward silence and said: "I've been thinking about the question you asked me, and no I'm not Okay." "Why whats wrong?" Richie asked, I responded: "I'm whats wrong Rich, can't you see? I'm getting you and the losers club to do such terrible things that we shouldn't be doing, and what if we all part ways? It'll be because of me." He held my face and caressed my cheeks with his soft hands and he said: "you are not whats wrong, if you're a fuckup then all of us are. Thats why we're called the Losers Club. But you're not a fuckup, wanna know why? Because you are special, you're not like every other suburban girl out there. You know what you want, and you're not afraid to get it."

I cried in his welcoming arms and I wanted to be with him all day but we had to get to school.