Princess In The Palace

13. In Our Way

Chapter 13.

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recap: in the previous chapter, Yì Rán and Empress Dowager were looking at the paintings of the latter when she was still in her youth. The little girl especially liked the painting where she dressed in white and held a white umbrella. Empress visited Empress Dowager and asked about Yì Rán, when the senior lady returned her question with a gentle smile. When Empress left, Empress Dowager talked about how she could easily dispose of her when she had already done so with late Emperor Shì and Crown Prince Liú Zhōng. Emperor Míng was outside and heard everything. He then had a flashback of how he overheard Empress Dowager saying that he was only the son of a palace physician, not Emperor Shì.

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Smash! Crack!

The short wooden plank standing out of the mound of earth was broken into two, the mound itself was destroyed. He saw the letters carved onto the wood, clear as ever, staring back at him as if it was screaming to be seen.

Lín Hé.

He hastily unsheathed his sword and in the blink of an eye, cut the pieces of plank up, to the point of the characters on it being unrecognisable. Strands of his hair came loose as he panted heavily, beads of sweat rolling down his temples.

Do not blame me. You are the one causing Mother Empress to stray so far. Blame yourself, I do not care what we are. All traces of you must disappear from the surface of the earth.

"Burn it," he said to his eunuchs as he dropped his sword onto the grounds and immediately rushed away out of the unsightly scene he had created.

"Ye-yes, Your Majesty."

He sped his way out of that place, the graves of people who died in the palace yet had no family to bury them. It was the mercy of the past Emperors that they were buried and tombed, instead of just being burned or thrown out. Eunuch Wǎn ran after him, he himself panting for not being physically trained.

Then Emperor Míng suddenly stopped. He remembered something, something that had always haunted him for years as he thought that he was a sinner. His heart raced like mad when he thought of it, he could finally be freed of his previous sins.

Seventh Sister...my sister...

He yearned for her longingly in his bleeding heart, but doubted she could hear his cry. He was finally not a brother who loved his sister, he was a man who loved a woman. He was finally not caught in his nightmares of forbidden feelings.

I can finally love her, genuinely.

Then again he remembered, she had long gone with the winds far to the North. She was already the Crown Princess of the North, she was no longer his Seventh Sister. She was the wife of a man he had never met before. He was also the one who pushed her into the marriage while his heart cried for his own actions. He had no choice but to do it, because it was his Father Emperor who asked him to persuade her.

What was the point of being freed of his previous sinful feelings when it turned out that he was sin himself? He was what they called bastard child, it was a secret that no one knew though, so he was not called one. He did not even deserve the throne, he was not one of imperial lineage. A commoner could never dream of inheriting the throne, but he did. He should feel thankful and happy about it, but why was it that he could not? He did not like being an Emperor, his true personality was not fit to be one. He was pushed into it, so he just did his best to be one.

He looked up on the sky, that day, the sky was surprisingly blue without a single spot of cloud in sight.

Father Emperor...First Brother...will you two forgive Mother Empress? Please...do not punish her. She has just strayed...too much... I am her son...therefore let me bear all the consequences...