Everything Has A Reason

5 : I don't care anymore

Arohi's POV :

I did not know why I reacted over that stupid glimpse of him . 

of all I wasn't actually sad to see him , but it was the frustration and anger .

Especially seeing him winking at the other girls and seeing him wrap his arms around her waist ...It was like all the memories just rushed into my mind .

All the questions that were unanswered , all the misunderstandings ,  him lying to me , giving me mixed signals and finally when I realised there can be nothing between us . Indeed , few people can never change .

I knew they were made for each other , she was standing with him . I let out a bitter laugh. Ofcourse , first love can never be forgotten . 

I was crying until now . Crying won't solve the problem , and who knows it better then me ? That day , 8 years ago I thought our paths should never cross again , but it did and this time I don't care at all . Why should I ? I have already wasted more than three years of my life  making silly excuses for him .  Wondering that maybe one day he will notice me . Wondering maybe , just maybe there could be us someday . I was living in an illusion .

In a way he is the best and the worst part of my life .

I had fallen for him .

He has made me feel loved . He made me feel special . He was the reason for those butterflies that errupted in the pit of my stomach . He was the reason I used to smile like an idiot for no matter at all . He was the reason , I believed in love . He was the reason I used to daydream in the class .

On the other hand he was also the reason for my misery . At a point of time he made me hate myself . He made me feel like a tissue paper . He was the reason I cried myself to bed most of the nights . He was the reason I cut my hands so deep that even after so many years the scars are faintly visible . He was the reason I killed my old self .

I shivered a bit . The neckline of my top suddenly felt wet .

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't even know that there were tears flowing down my eyes .

I wiped them away .

I then realised that the house was already dark . The only light that illuminated my room was coming from the night lamp .

 I took a  deep breath .

Just when I was going to stand up I heard a knock at the door . At the balcony door .

My heart lurched at this . Who could it be ? A robber ? A rapeist ? Or a silent killer . A shiver ran down my spine at those insane thoughts .

There was another knock on the door . I gulped and took the cutter from the pencil stand on my study desk .

I peeped through the curtains only to find a silhouette of a tall muscular man . My hands and feets were cold . I opened the curtains  wider to see who it was .

I gasped , and then let out a sigh of relief .

Vivaan ! Psychophat !

He was frowning at me .

He was muttering something and then I realised he ushered me to open the door .