20: good to be back

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A L I S O N

It's been exactly one year.

One year since Scott left me. Since I was left broken and ruined. Since everyone turned their back at me just because of a stupid mistake I didn't even know it was my fault.

For some time, I felt disgusted. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror without crying due to all I've lost. I didn't kiss someone in months, afraid that I would open my eyes and see Scott in front of me.

He haunted me every night. Every single night, he was there. In my dreams. Sometimes, even in my nightmares.

But incredibly I'm feeling better. After 365 days of accepting myself and finally realizing I didn't do anything wrong for real, except for getting drunk and not checking if it was really Scott next to me, I have my confidence again and I guess I have become a better person. I don't feel like I need to prove something to people. I don't have to be that cold queen bee that will step in anyone just to get what she wanted.

I made new friends, especially Emma. The girl who I met on the airplane and gave me a KitKat as a peace sign. She is just what I needed to learn how to be happy again. My best friend makes me forget all about the problems I'm facing and I can't be more grateful for and to her.

After what happened, I felt broken.

Like I lost a part of my life that I could never get back and it was my fault.

But slowly, I created the habit of standing in front of the mirror and saying good things that would make me feel better like I'm doing at this moment before I went to the airport.

You can do this.

Leave them speechless.

I apply my favorite red lipstick and put on a jeans jacket. My blue-green eyes finally got back the bright they used to have along this year.

I've grown up as a person and no one can take me from me.

I'm Alison Lawrence and I will win Scott again.

"The Uber is here, honey!" My mom screams from the living room. I take one last look at my bedroom before grabbing my suitcase and leaving the place that became my home in these past twelve months.

She is waiting for me with the front door already open. Her dark blue jeans and white lace shirt makes her look incredibly fancy. I wished she could stay here. This place brought more happiness to her than our house in California.

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