Names

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by galacticviolent

by galacticviolent

Names are like Labels
They makes people feel organized
Categorized
And like they have a place or word that describes them.

Some names are fitting.
We are all given a name when we are born
A person to become
An empty uniform
Just waiting to be filled with personality and hope

But sometimes, the name is wrong
I was given a name when I was born,
When I was pulled out of my mother and I was placed in her arms
and she looked at me with love
And she gave me a name

I grow as this person
As this girl I have been assigned
I play along like it's normal
I wonder, what's this pain I'm feeling in my heart?

How come when people try to talk to me it feels like it's someone else
How come I look in the mirror and I want to rip off everything I see

How come this all seems
Like something I've seen,
Why do I know I've never seen this on TV
I start to break down as I realize and scream
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS HAPPENED TO ME

Why do I have to suffer
Why doesn't my name match
Why does my body feel like a cage full of trash
Why can't I be who I was named to be
I DONT WANT THIS
I begged God and plead

I can't be her, I can't keep that name
It's someone else from a hallway of shame
I'm trying to be me, my new name and it seems
That maybe my life could get better

That one day I will be able to fix the wrongs I was born with
One day I will have my name
One day I will have my place
One day I won't by Shelby, the girl stuck in my father's trophy case
ONE DAY
I get to scream
from the rooftops above
IM FINALLY FREE

if your curious to know,
And you think I am the person I despise
Sit down and ask me who I really am
Then SHUT UP AND LISTEN AND DONT QUESTION WHERE I STAND
MY GENDER IS NOT A DEBATE AND NOTHING YOU CAN SAY WILL FORCE MY TO CHANGE MY PLACE

I have hidden for 15 years.
But no more will I hide behind that name.