Collection Of Depressing Poems I Wrote At Late Hours Of The Night

Not a Poem But Still a Depressing Thought

{A/N: so I did not have a Poem to post today but I did have this hidden in the recesses of my notes app so here you go.}

What if one day, all the bad stuff stopped? What if people could walk around without fearing for being mugged or being attacked? What if people didn't have to feel depression, or wake up wishing you never existed in the first place. What if anxiety was just a legend? A myth that people talk about, but never experience or fully understand. What if one day I could wake up, dress how I want, be addressed properly in my own home, be able to be myself without fear of judgement or punishment for what I cannot change. What if one day life wasn't so terrible? Would it be so bad if people were all happy? Would the world end if I wanted to live? If I wasn't so eager to die? What is the point of any of this if the only thing that's going to happen is my inevitable demise? If I could make it through one day without thinking "I can't do it anymore, I just want everything to be over." Why can't life be a little better? What is the point of living if I spend every second wanting it to end, wanting life to be gone?
Why bother trying to be happy when I'm just going to be sad later? The answer is of course, because I'm going to be sad later. 
Why were we given friends and family, if they will just leave us, and force us to be alone? Why are we alive? Why would God make us all if we are all damaged? We have social anxiety and depression, pain and suffering, why would He force us to live like this? What have we done somewhere in human history, to deserve this? There are people who are killed everyday, some we see. Some just keep dying, everyday, as another piece of our soul is crushed and burned and we keep going because we tell ourselves it will get better but we know it won't. We push ourselves to the breaking point just to try to be normal. We develop eating disorders, in an attempt to be loved by people. We create addictions, to make an artificial idea of happiness because everything else just hurts. We are all so willing to go over the edge, to take to many pills, to cut just deep enough to be fatal, to put the gun to our heads, because we have learned that nothing about us is good. We are nothing, and that hurts. The irony is that, we feel, because we are nothing, but nothing is all that we crave. We immerse ourselves in people and life, to convince ourselves that there is so much more out there but we don't go looking for it. We talk about recovery but we don't want it. We have learned to love our problems because it's what helps us be normal. It's what makes us the same. We are shamed for being different and killed for being unafraid. We need to stop. What if everything were to stop. And people could be happy. Fear would be a thing of the past, people could no longer have to worry. Pain could be, but a distant memory. And pain would no longer be beauty.

{A/N: man I said God a lot considering I don't actually believe in God. Guess it's just the effects of going to catholic school.}