My Kind of Perfect

23rd ツ

23rd ツ

“So...” Sandy's words lingered in my ears. She took a seat on the couch, and put the can of cola that she was drinking on the coffee table at my side, slamming it hard so that she could catch my full attention.

Well, she did catch my attention, as the droplets of cola splashed all over my face. Wiping it away, I looked up to glare at her. But instead of doing so, I was taken back, because she was already staring at me intently. She kind of got the upper hand in this situation, because she had that one meaningful look in her eyes and I knew full well what she was thinking.

“...are you going to accept it or not?”

Looking away, I put down the gold nail paint that I was holding, and looked at the velvet box on the table. Sandy exhaled. I knew that she wouldn't let this pass, so I lifted my face to her direction and feebly answered, “I don't know.”

“What's holding you back? It can't be John Emerson Brooks, right?” she asked me skeptically.

I looked down at my half-done nails. We both knew that it was still him who was keeping me from saying yes to Aaron. Well, apparently, my ex-boyfriend came back and said that he hadn't proceeded with his wedding. The thing was, it was all because of me. And last night, four months later, the words I wanted to hear all my life and dreamed ever since I was little finally came true.

“Kayla, I thought you’d already decided to do him this favor. That you will try your hardest to move on, and let him marry the rich gal. Um... what's her name again?” Sandy reminded me.

I sighed, and took one more glance at the velvet box that Aaron left at my door this morning. I absent-mindedly answered, “Amanda Frost.”

“Right, that one. So, are you planning to interfere or let them be? Take John back or let him be with her? She was pretty serious that if John would marry her, she would give him all her asset that would surely help him gain back all his losses,” she said, sipping her cola.

“I don't know, Sandy. I'm confused. But I don't want Aaron anymore. I want him. But then...” I faltered, lost in my own thinking.

“Then go with your heart,” she muttered, glancing at me as she turned on the TV. “Drag him to the normal world and have a happy life.”

“I can't!” I exclaimed, messing my hair in frustration. “That hotel is important to him. It was his grandfather's.”

“See? When I tell you to go with your heart, you get angry. And when I tell you to just go ahead and accept Aaron's proposal, you act like you are being sentenced to death. So what should I actually tell you?” she asked in disbelief, shaking her head in confusion.

“I don't know,” I mumbled.

“Oh, what if you just forget about those two and start again? Dump Aaron and let John marry that Amanda girl. Then go somewhere far from this place, and forget about what happened,” she suggested. “You’re pretty, Kayla. Enough to catch a guy in three days.”

I stared at her, frowning. “If I could forget everything just by blinking, I wouldn't be here and sulking all day.”

“You know what you need? A place where you can clear out your head,” she said to me, flipping the channels. “Go and take a vacation.”

Almost half a million in my bank account, I was pretty much having a good life now. Don’t get me wrong. I denied it at first. But John and some other men-in-black authorities, in place of Dorothy, insisted that I should take it.

And another good news was, I got everything back. Sandy's and my own savings were both retrieved from All is Good Company. I also received a call yesterday, and got a good offer from a known advertising agency. I could even get Aaron back if I wanted to. But still, I didn't feel like everything was in their rightful place.

Like a big part of me was still missing.

“How about consult your horoscope? Like before?” Sandy suggested.

I exhaled. “I don't believe in that anymore, after all those things that have happened. You know what my horoscope said when Dorothy had a heart attack? It said that I would win the lottery if I’d adopt a cat.”

“Did you?” Sandy’s face was suggesting that I did.

“Sandy! No! Of course, I did not!” I said quickly.

“Oh, I thought you did.” She shrugged. “You really didn’t?”

“Of course not. Dorothy was in the hospital. How could I adopt a cat?”

“Good for you. You haven’t lost the last sense of humanity just yet,” she told me, implying that I sort of lost a big part of it.

“Dad was right. I realized that basing your decisions on those words was foolish. And how could I adopt a cat at that time?” I was baffled.

Sandy nodded in agreement.

“Life pretty much has a plan, after all. And it's yours to take. In the end, whatever happens… happens. That there will always be a reason. And it’s not just by luck, but a greater drive that holds everything together,” I told her.

She blinked.

“Did I say anything wrong?” I asked after a minute.

“Are you being philosophical now? What happened to that Kayla, who frantically searched for her horoscope first thing in the morning?” she teased, almost laughing.

“She disappeared. Kayla here is pretty much exhausted with everything that she’d rather not count those four-leaf clovers or the five-leaf ones,” I answered.

“You're insane,” Sandy incredulously replied, shaking her head. Then she threw me a pillow and said, “Get lost!”

I faintly smiled in response.

Well, from the looks of it, two months hadn't done me any good. All day, he was on my mind. After that press conference, we had decided not to see each other for a while. He needed time to recuperate from everything that had happened, his business going down, and Dorothy still recovering in the hospital. And I also needed space to breathe and stop on being choked up every time I saw Dorothy's worn out figure.

But it was unfair. He was all over the news. And I was like what? Someone whom he could totally avoid without even trying?

Turning my gaze to the open window, I stared at the blue sky and got lost in my thoughts once more. Back here in Creeksburg, the sky was more vibrant. The white clouds hovered in the sky, adding life to the solid blue firmament, just like how my muddled feelings added contrast to the once perfect life I thought I had. Somehow, those things that had happened taught me how to feel.

I came to realize that love was more than just butterflies in your stomach, or feeling weak in your knees. Or dating the most handsome guy around. Sometimes, it also involved a lot of heart and understanding. And at times, letting that person go if needed. No matter how badly you wanted to stay with him. When you loved someone for real, the world didn't revolve around what you wanted. You started to give thought to every single thing there was.

That was something that the old Kayla would never know. But all things had changed when I met him... again. He changed everything.

We all had that. That one guy whom you’d unconsciously think of in the middle of the day and could make you smile just because. Or that person who popped into your head when you hear that love song playing on the radio. Probably, he would also be the reason why you were crying in the middle of the night, biting your pillow so that no one would hear. The one whom you’d suddenly miss when the cool winds of December seeped into your skin, or when the summer heat perched into your soul. We all had that one person who got the best of us and touched our hearts in a funny way. And we were never the same again.