Suicidal Love(Jacob Whitesides)

Chapter 7

I told Caleb when I got home that night and he told me that everything was going to be okay even though I know it's not. It's Monday and I'm sitting at lunch with Jacob and his new friend Nash.

"So my dad is letting me have a job at his restaurant in a couple of weeks when school gets out!" Nash exclaimed.

A job?

"Hey do you think your dad could give me a job?" I asked shyly.

"I can ask." He answered cheerly.

"Thanks it's just my situation sucks right now and I kind of need money." I bit my banana. He nodded understandingly.

"So are y'all a couple now?" Nash asked Jacob and I. I started choking as soon as he said that which caused some people to stare.

"No." I stated after I was finished nearly dying.

"Cool. So Rebecca would you wanna go out this Friday?" Nash asked. Jacob immediately tensed up next to me. I hated when he got like this. The night we were walking home some drunk ass wolf whistled at me and Jacob almost beat the shit out of him.

"I would love to." I smiled at the blue eyed boy sitting across from me. Jacob stood up and threw his stuff away then walked off.

"Who pissed in his Cheerios this morning?" Nash asked.

"I have no idea. So Friday?" I asked as the bell rung.

"Yeah. See ya." He hugged me goodbye. I don't really know what this date is going to consist of, but I'm sure it will be fun. I walked to class alone considering Jacobs outburst at lunch. When I walked into the room he was sitting in the back of the classroom. I huffed and I walked over to him, as I was about to sit down the schools slut pushed me back and took the seat.

"Hey Jakey." He twirled her long black hair. Jakey?

"Wendy hi." He smirked.

"Excuse me I was going to sit there." I spoke.

"Sorry no emo freaks aloud back here. You can sit up front with the rest of the losers."he sneered. Jacob started to laugh at her comment and I could feel my heart being twisted into tight knots. A tear fell down my face as I looked at who I thought was my best friend as he laughed and flirted with Wendy as if I weren't even here. I made my way up to the front of the classroom and sat next to a kid named Jeremy. He was absolutely disgusting.

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As soon as Caleb dropped me off I ran inside and tried to find something sharp. There was nothing. They literally took every sharp object. I needed god to feel my pain. I needed Ben to talk to me. I needed his voice back inside my head. The only way though was to cut. He would say 'I love you.' or 'your beautiful and I miss you' constantly as the blade ran across the skin.

The only place where there are sharp things are is at Jacobs. I slipped on some shoes and barged over to his house. I knocked on the door furiously as I waited for his face to appear. When the door swung open Jacobs face was revealed. I pushed past his body and ran into his kitchen. I pulled every drawer in the kitchen open until I found the knives.

"BECCA DONT!" he screamed and ran over to my body. The knife came intact with my wrist just before Jacob tackled me. The knife flew out of my hand and his weight suffocated my body.

"Ben! Help!" I screamed as I punched Jacobs body.

"Baby talk to me. Tell me you love me!" I screamed again. No voices. Only Jacobs who was screaming at me. I blocked out his screaming though and my eyes started to water a lot. The tears bursted out of my eyes as I kept hitting Jacob.

"I love you Ben." I cried. "I love you. I love you. I do." I sobbed. I stopped hitting Jacob and he stopped yelling.

"Becca you need you to calm down." He instructed.

"Leave me alone you big douche bag. I hate you!" I pushed him off myself. I stood up and ran over to the knife.

"No!" Jacob yelled. He threw my body over his shoulder which caused me to drop the knife once again.

"Let go of me!" I yelled. He ran into the nearest bathroom and sat me down in the bath tub. I cried already to much, all tears escaped my unwanted body. I started to breath heavily before I started screaming on the top of my lungs.

"Becca stop!" Jacob knelt in front of me and started crying. He covered his ears and just sobbed. I needed to get this pain out though. I just kept screaming and screaming and screaming.

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I woke up in a bed. I was surrounded by darkness. I shot up and looked around. It was a bedroom. It was Jacobs room to be exact.

"Hello?" I barley got out. Jacob was in the rocking chair next to the bed.

"What's wrong?" he ran over to me.

"I'm sorry." I cried. He wrapped his arms around me tightly.

"I'm sorry to. For everything. Ben. Your job. School." He rubbed my back.

"Do you think I'm suicidal?" I dared to ask.

"No. Your just broken. You could put this situation your in as a suicidal love though if you really wanted to." He whispered.

Great.

A suicidal love.

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I'm proud of this chapter. I hope you enjoy.