The Hidden Diary of Ophelia Ridley

8

9 June 1988

Dear Diary,

It's just past midnight. Daniel just brought me home. I have mixed emotions about the night. I'll tell you everything.

Do you remember when I said I was going to convince Edith I'm not a snob? I tried. I really did. I dressed as casual as I possibly could, In jeans, a black sleeveless shirt, and my jean jumper and sneakers. But I think my point kind of fell flat with Daniel by my side wearing a Calvin Klein suit.

"You said we were going to a music show!" Daniel complained. 

"We are." I rolled my eyes, already regretting bringing him along. 

"I thought you meant an orchestra or the opera. Not...whatever this is." The distaste in his voice was clear and I stopped outside of the building and practically begged him not to be weird. 

He pretty much melted when I gave him my puppy dog eyes. It's going to kill him when I go. 

The band was playing in a warehouse near the docks- it's grungy and paint splattered and smells like oil. It's superb! 

I met Edith who seemed impressed that I actually showed, albeit with an actual Lord while trying to prove i'm not a snob. But she didn't look twice at him, instead introducing me to the rest of her band- a drummer named Gregg, Keyboarder named Kevin, and a Bass Guitarist named Sonya. Edith plays lead guitar. 

"And the lead singer is Tasha, but she's not here yet." Edith said looking a little pissed off. 

"She always pulls this shite." Sonya said and spit black liquid into a plastic cup. Daniel shivered. 

Just then a big guy from the back of the garage called for Edith because she had a phone call. She Maneuvered her way through the crowd of people that had seemingly come to watch their band. The space had probably close to 100 people in it by then.

 "I can't believe that slag! She's completely lost the plot, the chav!" Edith came walking back a few moments later steaming mad with a trail of obscenities the whole room could hear. 

"She's cancelled! She says her mum is making her do her bloody homework!" 

Kevin, Gregg, and Sonya all started cussing and a heated debate began.

"If she thinks she can keep pulling this shite..."

"I told her she's out!"

"What the hell are we supposed to do now?"

"Well, that is too bad. I suppose we'll have to be going, then. What with no entertainment." Daniel said to me and tried to walk me back but I shook his arm off ignoring him.

"What'll you do now?" I asked Edith.

"Well, unless you can bloody well sing!" She laughed harshly as Kevin began to pack up his keyboard. 

"Well, I sort of can...I mean, I'm not that good but I can manage." I stuttered.

I'm pretty sure Daniel fainted when I said that. 

"Are you fucking serious?" Sonya asked me

"Yeah. But I don't know any of your songs." I said

"We don't do originals. Top hits. Are you kidding? You can actually sing? You're willing to do that?" Edith asked.

"Yeah, why not?"

"No. No way."

Daniel spoke at the same time I did. 

"Just shut it and bugger off, okay?" I rounded on him. "I want to do this!"

"I want to do this." I repeated to Edith.

The group shared a collective look and then...

"Yeah, alright." 

Getting up on that stage was the happiest I've felt in a long while. I could spot Daniel in the far corner looking stunned and supremely pissed off. Good. He needs to get over me. 

I sang Hey Mickey, At seventeen, and a few other songs before the show was over. I was a bit self conscious at first because I've only ever really sang to myself but the crowd seemed to respond, well. They cheered us on and banged their heads to the music. 

Afterwards Edith gave me a big hug and shouted in my face that I was "Fucking fantastic!" Which, coming from her means a lot!

A bunch of people came up to the band after the show complimenting us and each time Edith told them that Tasha was out of the band and I was her replacement, which was news to me but I was okay with it. 

I kept thinking about what Edith said at the ice cream shop. Her band is going to go to America. If I can convince them to go soon, this summer... Wow! 

We all exchanged telly numbers so I'd know when the next "gig" or rehearsal was and then I left with Daniel.

"Wow! Wasn't that amazing? What did you think, Daniel? Was I really as good as they said? Can you believe it, they want me to be in the band with them! Oh, This is so good!" I was a real chatterbox on the drive home. It wasn't until we got back to Norwood that I realized Daniel hadn't said a single word. 

"Are you sore with me?" I asked

"I thought I knew you, Ophelia."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that the person in that disgusting garage wasn't you, Ophelia!" Daniel raised his voice. "I can't believe you went up there and behaved that way- that you found that appealing at all! It was disgraceful!"

"Says who? An Eton educated snob?! Well, pardon me if I really don't give a toss about what you think of me! And for your information, I only invited you because I needed a ride but in the future Edith can pick me up so just leave me alone!" I yelled at him as I got out of the car and marched towards the cabin. Daniel didn't call my name.

I snuck in and to the loft where I'm writing this to you now, Diary.

I'm excited that I have friends and a way to get out of here now but I can't believe Daniel could say those things to me. 

When I was on stage, It was like I was infinite and free. There were no worries about my father and his unfaithfulness, or Daniel and his obsession with me or the complexities of my dreams and my future. 

It was just the music, in the moment. I loved it.

-Ophelia ♡