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22 June 1988

Dear Diary,

I don't quite know what to write. I'm overwhelmed with emotions and I'm kind of confused but I'm pretty sure it's my fault anyway. 

I just got home. I was supposed to spend the night at Edith's house, which was only allowed after I begged my mother and promised to go to tea with Daniel this weekend. She relented, I suspect, because Edith's parents are almost as awful as she and dad are. If she knew where I really ended up spending the night...well I don't even want to think about that.

Maybe if I write down what happened, I can try to understand. 

Edith and I worked at the ice cream shop for the day, somewhat relieved that Marvin's bronchitis was cured enough to resume his supervision. It was almost like Susan had never been there at all, save for his complaining about how she organized the receipts. Afterwards, we headed to the party, at a different address than before. It was about 8 o clock and we arrived the same time the others did and when Sonya asked why we were at a different address, Edith and I shrugged, as if we too, did not understand. 

Susan had the same stage set up in the backyard and while the others were setting up the instruments, we asked Susan if she had any way for us to make more money that night. I think she could tell we were desperate, though we didn't say so. She told us to stick around after our set and she would help us out. 

I really hoped she would just give us more money.

So we sang our songs and hyped everyone up and at the end, Susan paid everyone just as she had the previous time, and we stayed late again, just like before. 

"I'll give you each 500 pounds if you stay the night and help me work." Susan told us as we waved goodbye to Gregg, Kevin, and Sonya. 

"Yes!" Edith said just as I objected. 

"Wait, what kind of work?" 

"Look, all we have to do is drink a bit, bat our eyes, and look pretty. It's easy money and it'll be fun. If you don't want to do it, just say so." Susan's voice had turned firm as if daring me to say no. I understood that she was giving us an ultimatum. Help her work and get money, or leave and stop being friends with her.

It was an easy choice. We went upstairs into the closet and borrowed skinny dresses that belonged to Robert's wife. This time we were in Robert's house while he and his family were away. I didnt ask too many questions.

Half an hour later, I was zipped into a red strapless dress with ruffles across the bust and Edith was in a gold sequined tube top and leather skirt.

"Here we go" Susan said and she lead us  downstairs into a basement. Inside were about 10 people, men and women who looked to be around Susan's age.

There were drinks scattered around as well as marijuana but the atmosphere seemed pleasant. Susan introduced us to everyone and handed us drinks.

This is where my memory goes fuzzy.
I remember laughing a lot and dancing with Edith. I remember watching Susan as she unzipped someone's pants.

I couldn't do that. I wouldn't. Edith and I kept dancing and soon, the men were joining us. The next thing I knew, I was on the floor and everyone was laughing at me. I couldn't see Edith. I couldn't talk either. Someone was covering my mouth.

When I woke up the next morning, I was still in the basement, my dress was hiked all the way up and everyone was gone except Edith and me. There were two stacks of cash on the table near us each equaling 500 pounds.

My entire body was sore, I was bleeding a bit. But we had worked for Susan, just as we said we would and we had our money.

Edith was still sleeping and I had to shake her awake. She started crying when she opened her eyes and her thighs were bruised.

"We need to go home." I told her, my voice shaking. I handed her her money and helped her stand up. We ran as fast as we could to the car and Edith brought me home first while I used napkins in her glove box to wipe up the blood on my legs.

"What are we going to do?" Edith asked me, tearfully, her head on the steering wheel.

It was understood that we could never tell anyone about what had happened. For one thing, we had agreed to work for Susan and we had taken the money she left. For another, we didnt think either of our parents would believe us.

"We just have to ride this out." I said, sounding more confident than I felt. "August 1st is my birthday. We can leave then. No one will come after us."

I said goodbye to Edith and went home, thanking God that neither of my parents were home to see what I was wearing. I took a bath, changed into pajamas and chucked Robert's wife's dress into the lake.

I don't know what I feel. I just need to be alone.

-O

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