Fixing the Broken

Nature

03/10/18
So, I spent my Saturday in the woods walking a few different trails. I absolutely adore hiking. It gives me some freedom and rest from the crazy world. It was just a wonderful day! I wish I could go back.

Spring break is coming up and it couldn't come sooner! I can't wait to have a break.

In May I'm going to another country for a trip and I'm really nervous. So, some parts of me doesn't want time to hurry up. It's stressful figuring out what to pack and what I'm doing. I hate it, but I'm also excited.

I've been feeling pretty lonely lately which isn't unusual. I just don't know how to fit in. People leave me all the time and I constantly get hurt. No guy will love me which is a constant thought at this point. Ugh. I just want love. That's all. It's so hard to find someone who actually loves you instead of just wanting sex. There are so many amazing guys, but none of them would ever like me. It's depressing. I can feel myself falling again. Into the deep pit of sadness. I act like life is great, but it's never been like that. My baby wouldn't have loved me...I would've been a terrible mom.

Anyways, I want to be a hermit.

This took many plot twists, but I write whatever comes to my brain and this is how I typically think. I know it's hard to read, but only I read this and I can easily go back to these situations and recall emotions.

Science is literally killing me. I'm going to have a heart attack due to the stress it's causing.

I've been watching "The Office" a lot lately. I didn't like it at first, but once I got past the first season it got really good. It's pretty dramatic which isn't what I expected.

I try to stay distracted a lot. I don't want to go back to that, but I feel it coming. Crap.