Random Thoughts

Imagine when your old and grey... your awaiting your death and know time can not rewind and the choices you made led you to where you are now. How many of us will second guess ourselves and think if I had of done this instead of that. If I married this person instead of that or for some even if I had got married. If I had this many kids or if I hadn't had any. If I went to college or if I hadn't. If I had lived for God from the beginning or maybe I didn't live wild enough or get it out of my system. Truth be told I'm sure we will all wonder. My grandmother is 86. Her husband (my grandfather ) passed many years ago. Though when he passed he knew the Lord and had  changed his ways of drinking and being a womanizer. My grandmother married him young had 9 children with him and never layed with any other man besides him. True she tried to leave him several times but he always found her and would walk in and stay as if nothing ever happened. My grandma being the strongest Christian lady I know sets and talks about her younger days to me. She tells me of a man her mom wanted her to marry that went on to be a Judge in West Virginia. I joke with her about wanting to be with the bad boy. I told her she picked the one that goes before the Judge over the Judge. She just smiles and says yea I did. But knowing the hard life she had I know she wonders what if... She is 86 now and not in the best of health... her choices led her to a marriage with my grandfather and hardwork. A tough life making ends meet. She had 9 children that led to about 50 grandchildren and over 100 great grandchildren and even some great great grandchildren. OUR FAMILY IS HUGE! None of us would exist if she hadn't made the choices she had and I think for that reason alone she has no regrets. But she does wonder as I think we all will if we are blessed to live to be her age ... what if?! ( BTW my grandmother was a direct decendant from Besty Mccoy and my grandfather from the Hatfeilds as you may know as the Hatfeilds and Mccoys infamous family feud )