For Our Broken Hearts (Book 2)

Chapter 4

I ate the murmurs that surrounded me for lunch that day. I could find no appetite to eat with being the hot topic. I knew if Rolan could see me now, starving myself, he'd have a fit. I often found myself wondering what he would think of my actions. I often found myself missing him beyond my own comprehension. Since my mother died, I only gave certain extents of myself to others. With Rolan....giving him my everything seemed okay. He gave me hope that maybe I'd really survive this all. Now, not knowing where he was, what he was doing or who he was with, I could feel myself slipping into the confines of my mind and I knew that once I slipped all the way in...I would be trapped inside for good this time.

I was ripped from my train of thought by the ringing of the bell signaling the end of lunch. I took a deep sigh and rose to my feet. I could feel eyes on me but I kept my head down and exited the cafeteria.

"We have Biology together," it was Abriana, she had exited into the hall a little after me and was now doing a small jog to catch up.

I said nothing. I figured the less I said...the better.

She maintained the silence as we walked. I didn't know exactly where I was going and she was doing a half-assed job at leading, looking at me ever so often as if to make sure I hadn't disappeared.

We finally got to the class, Room 301. On the door in bold read:

"Human and Social Biology"
-Mr G

I exhaled and followed Abriana inside where I swam through the sea of murmuring teens to a seat in the far back of the lab layout classroom. The teacher hadn't arrived yet and I took this opportunity to doodle in my notebook. Absentmindedly I sketched flowers and other things of nature before soon I was tracing the outline of Rolan's face. It came so naturally to me. Him, here on the ruled page of my book, was the closest think I had to the real thing...I did my best to hone it.

I knew it wasn't healthy...thinking about him so much. I hadn't seen him in so long but I could still hear is remarkable laugh, feel his warmth....I loved Rolan Gaines with my entire being.

I became so lost in what I was doing that I didn't even hear the class start. So I was surprised, to say the least, when my book was pulled away.

"I suppose you're the new student," I was so high on the thought of Rolan that the teacher sounded like him.

I nodded without looking up, bent on keeping a low profile in every class....every situation involving human interaction for that matter.

"Well, why don't you introduce yourself?" he spoke again and I had to shake my head quickly....trying to rid myself of the madness, trying to shake out Rolan's voice.

"No?" I was absolutely fucked, there the voice went again.

I finally decided to look up, thinking that if I saw the face of a stranger, I'd stop hearing the voice of a man I'd never see again.

I was sadly mistaken.

My eyes met those of my new Biology teacher and my breath caught in my throat. I must have been seeing things. But this wouldn't explain why my teacher looked equally as shocked.