Chapter Twelve || The Lonely Girl

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The pain would wear off some days. Other days, it would be there more than anything else in the world.

I loved Lupin and that thought poisoned - or sweetened - every single moment of my life. But I tried to find consolation in the smallest things. And oddly enough, spending time with Harry and Ron helped.

My mother had always said I had a talent of talking to kids. I wouldn't know, having grown up in a family with no siblings. Yet I remember my uncle, my father's brother, once bringing his two boys over - and before the day was over they claimed I was the best girl they'd ever met.

I have no idea what it was that I'd done. But probably my impressions of the family members did the trick.

It was the same with Harry and Ron. I would have thought Harry would have been reluctant to talk to me after having cried into my shoulder - which, I, of course, hadn't mentioned to anyone - but it was the complete opposite. Apparently, he felt he could trust me. Or maybe it was because we were in the same fix, too vulnerable in front of the Dementor. Either way, it didn't matter.

I had been accepted into their small group. I had been officially introduced to Hermione - and for some strange reason, she didn't like me. I wondered what it was, until I finally realised she was jealous. Ron seemed to be as taken with me as ever - and I had no difficulty whatsoever in realising she needed no other girl around. I had no idea how to approach her with an explanation that I had no intention of luring Ron into anything - he was thirteen and I was nearing twenty. But I knew girls too well to know how easily the voice of reason could be obscured by a crush.

One day, as Hermione was sat by herself in the library and Harry told me Ron's rat had disappeared and he apparently blamed Hermione for it and they hadn't spoken in a while, I decided to come up to her.

I sat down next to her in the library, careful not to touch her books.

- Hey, - I said, softly.

She pretended she didn't hear me. 

- Do you mind if we talk for a second? - I said quietly.

- I'm kind of busy,- she snapped.

I looked up at her, refusing to give up.

- I want to talk to you about Harry and Ron.

She looked up quickly.

- What on Earth are you implying?

We were out of the library, walking down the corridor a minute later. She led me out of Hogwarts, almost to the outskirts of the forest. I was exhausted, but tried to keep up.

- Okay. What is it about? I don't have a lot of time.  - she said, stopping at last.

I smiled gratefully and sat down on the trunk of a fallen tree. She remained standing up, as if I owed her an apology.

I looked up at her and began:

- I don't really know many people in this school, being a transfer... And Harry and Ron have been really kind to me. And I really don't mind the age difference. I just want friends. I'd like to be friends with you too.

She seemed to soften, but still looked at me with distrust.

- And... Ron seems to have somewhat of a crush on me, but that's gonna pass.

- Yeah. Unless you encourage him. - she spat.

- I'm not encouraging him, Hermione, - I said, lowering my voice. - I totally am not. In fact, I think he's being really stupid, saying your cat ate his rat... Crookshanks couldn't have possibly done that.

She looked over her shoulder. Briefly, but I saw her do it. 

- Thanks, - she said curtly.

- Don't mention it.

Hermione shrugged her shoulders. I felt like I'd won half the battle. 

- Anyway... The way he keeps on going about his rat and how annoying you are... I'd say the guy has a crush on you more than he has on me. Anyway. Not my business. 

I knew I was entering dangerous waters here, but I didn't know what else to say.

There was a long pause. And then Hermione suddenly turned around, perplexed.

- What?

- Just my thoughts.

She paused for a second, as if debating whether to trust me or not.

I held out my hand.

- Please let us be friends. I've heard so much about you.

She shook my hand, a little apprehensively.  There was an awkward pause... I waited for her to say something, but she didn't.

Then I sighed, got up and started walking back to the castle. The talk hadn't seemed to go very well, but I'd done all I possibly could.

I had walked a long way before she caught up with me. I was surprised to see she had been running.

- In fact, I've heard about you too, - she said, trying to sound as calm as possible, but I could still hear a bit of a wheeze. - They say you're very very good at charms. Think you could teach me some?

I smiled, a little shyly.

- Well, I don't know if I'm that good...

- Professor Lupin once said I should talk to you. Said we might have a lot in common.

I felt my face reddening slightly and shook my head again, to conceal it.

- That's... very flattering.

- Anyway. We can be study buddies! You spend a lot of time in the library, don't you?

I looked up at her, wondering what it was that had made her change her mind. 

- Yeah, I do.

- That's great! We can just sit together and study. That'll be so great. - she repeated again, and looked away.

I looked at her, wondering if she even had any girlfriends here at Hogwarts.

Maybe it wasn't so strange that she had warmed up to me so quickly, after all.

- Of course we can, - I smiled. - I'd be delighted.

2K READS! thank you so much.

Sorry I took such a long while with this chapter. Life has been hectic.

Love,

~FlickeringInTheDark

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