𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐎𝐔𝐓 - (𝟎𝟎𝟏)

-careless; stupid lungs

it's kinda ironic how much i care. how much i think about the utterly careless way you do things. like how you flip your hair back and forth soso effortlessly and how you wrinkle your nose when you think something is funny and no one else seems to notice so we make eye contact because we both have idiotic senses of humor and giggle about it behind our hands. and how you throw your head back when you really think something is funny and just laugh without a care in the world.

can't stop thinking about the careless way your hand sometimes lingers on my arm or brushes my stomach. or how when you're walking by me in a narrow space you face your whole body toward me, so your front is to my back as you scooch by sideways and turn your hand so your fingers graze across my hip or over the small of my back ever so gently, like youre saying the softest 'scuse me baby, as you squeeze past. so quick and unnoticeable to anyone else but somehow carry the ability to make my breath hitch each and everytime.
hate how every chance you get to stand behind me you stand so close that i can feel your breathing on my neck because feeling your minty breath on my neck never fails to send shivers down my spine. makes it so hard to focus on anything else and i just wish you would stop teasing because you know that i know that i can't have you. and i know, that you, don't realize how much time i spend thinking about you. you and where your hands brush me and just how often you make my heart jump and my cheeks burn. how much i care for your carelessness.

4/23/18

and now it's months later and i still find you so stupidly attractive with your stupid smirk and your stupid broken flip flops that flop in an uneven way and make my head whip toward the door every time i hear you walk in late, without a care in the world. how my neck still hurts from yanking my head to see you when i recognized the sound of your stupid flip flops when you walked in for the first time in two weeks. with your stupid tan and stupid white tank top. stupid color contrast making you fucking glow. stupid hair that's already lightening with the summer season tied up in that stupid floppy bun only you manage to do just right. stupid smirk painted on your stupidly attractive face. all the stupidity making me forget how to breathe. stupid lungs.

5/29/18