Please Don't Try and Turn On the Lights

10. Thunderstorms

Later, I received a message from him.

Received at 11.47 p.m. from Alex Turner :
Friends?

I knew that I had been the one to suggest we could start over as friends, but it didn't mean that I wanted to have anything to do with him. I did, however, want to see Jamie, Matt, Miles, and Nick again and I figured that they were kind of a package deal. So I came to the conclusion that Alex could easily be ignored.

Sent at 11.50 p.m. to Alex Turner :
Friends!

-

I spent the next two days with the guys. I immediately felt as an integrated part of the group and even though we had only known each other for a few days it felt like years.

Alex and I hadn't really talked much since he had visited my hotel room but I had definitely warmed up to him a bit more - or at least I didn't avoid him anymore.

It was as if as soon as all my expectations of him and I had gone out the window, I found it easier to accept the fact that he simply just wasn't the type you were meant to do anything serious with. Maybe spend a night with him. But absolutely nothing serious. I could never fall in love with a guy like him. With his reputation of being a ladies man I figured he probably had tons of STDs anyways.

I decided that Alex and I definetely worked better as friends. And even though we both had accepted this, I still couldn't find it in my heart to talk to him under four eyes. It seemed as if he was on the same page as I was and we only ever said hello and goodbye to each other. Apart from that, we kept our distance.

-

"I'm bored!" Miles exclaimed suddenly, "I want to go out."

We were all hanging out in Alex' and Miles' suite (I had found out that Miles had slept over at some girl's house the night I had spend alone with Alex).

"Well, I'm always up for some casual drinking," Alex said in a bored tone.

"I'll grab some beers," Jamie said, "Want to join?" He asked me.

I stood up from the floor, nodded, and followed him. As we got into the elevator, Jamie asked me what I already knew was coming.

"So...You and Al, huh?"

"What about us?"

"Bit weird, innit?"

"Depends. I don't think it's weird." ....Lie.

Jamie shrugged and pulled out a cigarette from his pack.

"So you're not going to hook up proper?"

"Absolutely not!" I spluttered, "nothing could be further away from my mind." Or at least I had convinced myself "We're friends now!"

Jamie shrugged once more, "Suit yourself, kid."

"Kid?" I laughed, "I'm younger than you by 2 years"

"Wasn't referring to your age, love," he smirked, "I was referring to the fact that you and Al are acting like a couple of toddlers."

I sighed, "Look, Jamie, I like Alex but nothing is ever going to happen between us again. That goose is cooked. I'm just not attracted to him.."

"Yeah, yeah, I get that. You just keep telling yourself that...kid." I could see him smirk to himself

-

After a few hours of pre-drinking at the hotel, we were ready to go out. I had to admit that the six of us looked pretty cool. I had borrowed a denim jacket from Nick - and I rocked it!!