Please Don't Try and Turn On the Lights

27. MCR

"What are you doing here?" Alex asked me.

"No, Alex. What the fuck are you doing here?"

He didn't answer me but just looked between me and Jamie, clearly in shock.

"Jamie flew me out to surprise you... Well, surprise." I spat at him.

"Al, who is this?" The girl next to Alex asked him as she put her hand on his arm in a loving manner.

I scoffed at Alex before I turned on my heel, Jamie following me. It was just him and I and we had gotten all the way to the hall when I finally had the courage to ask him, "Who the hell was that girl and why does she know you?"

"Uhm... That was Alex' ex-girlfriend," Jamie said in a small voice.

I didn't have time to react before I heard Alex yell behind me, "Rhea, please wait," he caught up with Jamie and me and put his hand on my arm, turning me around, "It isn't what it looks like," he panted.

"And what exactly did it look like, Alex?" I spat at him. I didn't care that people were looking at us.

"It looked as if I was about to kiss that girl"

"That girl???" I yelled, "she wasn't just some random girl - as if that would make it any better - I know she is your ex girlfriend, Alex!"

Alex shot Jamie an angry look clearly saying 'why the fuck did you tell her'.

"Don't look at me like that, you wanker," Jamie spat, "As if I was going to keep that secret! You and I both know that Arielle wasn't just some girl."

"Arielle?" I scoffed, "Of course her name is fucking 'Arielle'! You know what, Alex? This is exactly why I didn't want to be with you! You just shit all over the people who love you"

"You love me?"

"No I fucking don't love you but I knew this would happen."

"Nothing has happened," Alex said, gripping my wrists tight.

"You're hurting me," I said through gritted teeth and wrestled myself free from his grip.

"Sorry," he said, "I didn't mean to hurt you in any way," he pinched the bridge of his nose. Something I had noticed he always did when he was under pressure, "look, I'll explain it all - can we go somewhere?"

I scoffed but ended up following him to an empty room, leaving Jamie alone in the hall.

"I know it looks bad," Alex said and closed the door behind him, "and I definitely see why but let me explain."

I crossed my arms and huffed but didn't say anything.

He continued, "Arielle and I used to date but we kind of slipped away from each other last summer. We were together for a few years and we never really ended it properly. We just stopped texting and calling when I was on tour. And when I got back home for good, she'd moved on"

"So you gave her the same treatment as you've given me the past month?" It was more a statement than an actual question.

"Yeah," he said, clearly embarrassed by himself, "To be honest, I had completely forgotten about her but then she came up to me an hour ago and I just wanted to talk to her, Rhea. I just wanted to see how she was doing after our break-up because I wasn't alright until I met you. I spent eight months drinking and doing coke and writing shitty songs and then you came and lifted me out of it. And you have inspired some of the best fucking music I have ever written. And I don't want to throw that away like I threw it away with Arielle. You deserve so much better."

"That's all great Alex, but if Jamie and I hadn't shown up at that exact moment, you still would've kissed her," I said, tears starting to form in my eyes.

"FUCK!" he exclaimed, banging his fist on the wall, "Yeah I probably would have..." he then admitted.

"You are such an ass, Alex. I wish I had never met you," I whispered.

"Can we please just go back to my place, please?" he was pleading me, "relationships have never been easy for me but you're worth it. You're worth everything."

"This thing between us definetily isn't a relationship.. And no, I don't want to go back to yours. I'm here to support my friends and I flew all this way to be with them and not to argue with you"

"I'd rather argue with you than to be with someone else," he whispered, "with the exception of you and the guys I dislike everyone at this bloody party."

"I'm going to go back to the others and pretend this didn't happen. I'm not letting you ruin anymore of my nights," I said in anger.

He admitted defeat and nodded, "I'll go with you."

We didn't talk as we walked back to the party. They were playing some song I hadn't heard before but it reminded me of a song I'd listened to a lot in my late teenage years and I still remembered the lyrics to that MCR song perfectly 'I don't love you like I did yesterday'.