Who I'm Gay For ⚠️DISCONTNUED⚠️

Chapter 5

(Yes I know its been a while, I'm sorry. I'm gonna try to get this book going again)

ALEX P.O.V.

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT.

IT'S RAINING

JOHNNY BOI P.O.V.

I made my way home to find a crying Alex sobbing in the corner of his bed, I was making things up as I go (like normal) and decided to go over and hug him. He was clearly having a panic attack of some sort, and with my knowledge, why not? After a while, I started wondering if I was scaring him or making him feel trapped because of the fact that I was holding him tight, so I got up. But right away from under the covers, and the pillow he had mashed into his face, out came the quietest most innocent voice I've ever heard.

"Stay"

I understand that you have heard this chapter in every Lams book ever, and it ends with Alex saying 'stay' but it's truly meaningful and special when you think about it. I was shocked he said it. But of course the story should go on with: "Oh uh. Sure. Okay, I thought I was blocking you or making you uncomfortable." I started fidgeting with the laces on my sweatshirt, and then he looked up from the soaked pillow, his bright red eyes peering up at me.

"Oh right! Okay sorry."

I laid back down with him and we stayed there for a number of minutes, until Alex said something.

"I can explain of you'd like."

"Okay. As long as you don't start crying again because of it. I don't like seeing you cry." I started to worry he thought I liked him. "Uh, I mean, uh. I didn't y'know, I uh. Uh. I didn't mean it like tha- okay I'll stop talking now."

He smiled. "Okay." He giggled slightly. God he is so cute. He sighed heavily his shaky breath starting to race about the topic racing through his mind. I wanted to know what he was sobbing about, but I didn't want to bother him. Crazy how that logic woks right!? (Authors note: I put that in there for my friends.. Little tip: bugging them makes the situation worse ;) aaaanyways, back to the story)

ALEX P.O.V.

I started by taking a deep breath as any dramatic story goes. Closed my eyes to think about it again. All of the horrid images flashing through my eyes, and it happened. Like I was the narrator of one of those boring animal documentaries about how weird animal friendships are made or something.

My eyes closed, I could feel him flinching everytime I mentioned my father or a family member who as since then past. I don't know why, he was just so anxious about me talking about my father.

Maybe he has a problem with fathers.

"It all started a few years ago. Back in the Carribean. I lived happily with my mother and father........waves crashed and my family was gone.......my community saved up in hope of sending me.........and now I'm here"

As I finished the story I opened my once closed eyes to see a shivering, half crying, ball of a John Laurens looking so helpless. God I wanna kiss him.

"I-I- I I- I'm sorry that h-happened t-tt-to you A-Alex"

"Why do you care so much?"

"Wh-what?"

"Y'know. Why do you care so much about me?"

"I uh. I mean. We have to live together for at least one schoolyear. Why not get to know each other?" Wow he's an awful lier.

"You're an awful lier" See? I'm an awful lier too. Because I tell the truth, and say what's on my mind almost immediately.

"Aw, you caught me" I chuckled a little bit at John's whiny voice.

"Why?"

"Uh can I tell you something? I uh. Uh. I mean. Uh."

"Yes. Also can I ask you something?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Do you like me?"

JOHNNY P.O.V.

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SSSSHHHHIIIIITTTTTTTTTT.

"Uh I mean, no- I mean yes- I mean what? What truly is the meaning of 'like'do you mean I like you as a friend, or, like, like you, aka love you aka what I uh." I was speaking so fast it was like I was on 5 hour energy or something.

"Really? I won't judge."

"I uh. Yes. I like you."

"Me too."

"What?"

"Yes. I like myself too. But I also like.. you.." *wink wink*

"Wait, what?"

"I kind of sort of like you too?"

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Heyyy so I'm back, and this is a short chapter, but you better be happy. I haven't written anything since March. So, lucky you? Okay I gotta blast

-Ani