Poems of the fragile heart

3 am nights

It's close to 3am, and
my friends are coming over.
They seem to come and go as they please.
But tonight, they overstay their welcome.
There's a knock at the door. Oh look! It's the devil.
He's taken the form as a bottle of hard whiskey
smooth to go down my throat.
He leaves and comes back, he's in the form
of Xanax I believe. It's saying "I will take your
pain, you don't have to feel it anymore"
so I pop them in my drunken body.
I'm starting to feel alive again.
The alcohol is still pulsing through my veins.
The devil leaves and takes a new form once more.
He is now a women. The women looks over me with
hungry eyes, and I feel naked. But do I care?
The women says "feel me, touch me Anna. I have
the ability to make you feel loved, and sex can
fix your pain" so I find myself stripping what once
was my dignity, and I let him take my pain away.
There's another knock at the door and the devil
flees the scene. Death has come.
Death greats me and I soon see that Death has
taken form of a blade. Death tells me in
a soothing voice "Anna, the Devil did not finish
His job, allow me to finish his job, and finish
what he started." I nod. Death says
"take me across your skin, and you will feel a release"
So I take the blade, and let the cold metal kiss
my skin. I see blood coming out "deeper"
Death instructed. So I push deeper. More
blood comes spilling out at more rapid speed.
But I feel calmer now, so I keep on.
After, Death leaves and takes a new form.
He comes as a dream.
My drunken and broken body falls asleep.
In my dream, he is showing me things
of my past. I'm screaming as the abuse
is happening in my dream. I can't escape....
I can't escape.
I shot up panting and shaking hard. Death
has disappeared, but I know his job is not
finished. Not until Death meets Death.
He comes back and I see Death has come
back as a rope. Immediately I know what
Death wants me to do. He soothingly says
"Anna, you couldn't escape in your dream,
you can't escape it now. So give yourself to me
and we can be Death together, and you won't
feel any pain at all." I thought about my friends.
Death sneered and said "they don't care about you.
Neither does your family. You will be forgotten,
and no one would attend your funeral. You are
lost here Anna, let me help you find your way"
I knew deep down Death was right. So I tie
a noose, and I write a letter explaining why.
I set up a chair and stand on top.
But then I decide I don't want to die that
way. So Death takes a form of a pill bottle.
I take them one by one. I fade out into sleep,
and I wait for Death. And in that moment,
Death has won.