|| 12 || Clo·sure

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Groaning against the softness of my pillow, I force myself to sit up, wiping the drool off the periphery of my lip. I contemplate the consequences my options of going to school and staying at home. If I stay at home, my mother will get suspicious. She knows that I don’t get sick easy, and when I do, I bounce back better than ever. Then she’ll question me to the very end of my existence. If I go to school, worst case scenario, the world hates me, I have no friends, etc. Well, that’s only the worst, and it’s not me who kissed anyone.

Throwing on a tank top and a pair of skinny jeans, I stumble down the stairs and out the door.  The day is only neutrally blue, with grey clouds circling but tinges of sunlight peeking through.  It is quite warm but the wind sends shivers through my spine. With a sigh, I push my earphones in and play the playlist named ‘Disney’. I’ve been quite nostalgic these past few days. Maybe it’s just because I want to rid myself of my troubles. My childhood is where it’s at. Why did I ever want to grow up?

I’m surprised that Josh isn’t on the bus today, which means he won’t be at school, unless he’s running late. It’s kind of lonely. I miss him, despite most things I shouldn’t miss. He’s the only one who can comfort me at the moment. The bus ride goes way too slowly and uneventfully. Students look at me, commenting  on what I look like today. Some say I look like crap, or I look hot, or I shouldn’t dress like that. I can hear them in spite of ‘Poor Unfortunate Souls’ pumping out of my headphones.

Everyone looks in shock of my return, so they did notice I was gone. I step out of the bus, my head held high. My lips twitch from the way I’m behaving. With pride, whilst acting like a snotty high school girl, I stride over to my friends. Claire hurdles up to me and hugs me.

“You’re back!” she exclaims and starts explaining what I’ve missed. Nothing really appeals to me though. I see Dianna and Emma talking to each other. I start walking towards them, Emma glares at me nervously and starts walking away with an embarrassed look.

“Wait, Emma!” I yell. She turns around for a split second but keeps walking. I follow her. Once I get close enough, and I know she’ll hear me when I say this, “I’m not upset with you.”

“What?” She turns around.

“I’m not angry or upset,” I restate.

“B-but I kissed Ashton. I’m so stupid. I’ve been so obsessed with him,” she stammers.

“Look, I was just disappointed that you didn’t tell me first,” I explain.

“I-I-” She sighs. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. So are you two together now? ‘Cause I totally understand if you are. It’s not like I had ever had anything serious with him anyway.” I ask. Claire didn’t mention anything about it, though.

“No, he pushed me away when I kissed him and ran after you.” She rolls her eyes. “It’s alright anyway, he made it clear that he had no feelings for me.”

“Oh.” I hesitate.

“You should go get him, he really likes you. Everyday he asked where you were.”

“Thanks Emma, friends?” I ask.

“Friends.” She hugs me. The bell rings just in time. I run off to my first class.

* * *

During this lunch break, I had to catch up on all the work I missed when I was gone. I tell my friends that I have a detention because I didn’t give in an assignment that was due a few days ago. In brisk movements, I bounce from classroom to classroom and begin to worry if I’ve missed anything. I check my phone and start deleting the names of the teachers I’ve already spoken to. The memo ends up with no names. I guess I’m done. I let out a huge of relief and pack the last of my work into my bag. My head starts spinning and my heart drops into the pit of my stomach. So that’s what I’ve been forgetting this whole day. I stare at the ground, wondering what I should do. My mind decides by itself to go up to him but I’m arguing against it. He should talk to me, not the other way around. I begin walking down the corridor, avoiding eye contact with him. Just a few steps closer, Misty. I stare straight ahead but my head turns slightly. I stop dead in my tracks. It strikes me that he’s also looking. He stops as well. We study each other’s faces for a few seconds. His eyes are glassy, and his smile is broken. My heart starts falling apart; I think I might lose it soon. I take a deep breath in, helping to keep my emotions contained. Both our instincts make us keep moving. I sigh knowing I will regret that decision. Another sigh bounces off the walls of the corridor.

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