Memories [random updates]

Memories | 00

Death is a funny thing, in my opinion. Many people would probably claim that I was adverse or cynical, and they were probably right. My views and opinions on certain topics would not match those of people who actually cared about their life and those who wanted to make the most of it. Unlike them, I was different and death confused me.

When I was young, four years of age to be exact, my grandfather passed away but I didn’t realise it until weeks had passed and his lack of presence became evident to me. Even then as a kid, I never fully understood the concept of death; it just never made sense to me.

As I grew older, I watched different people leave me, leave this world. I guess many could say that I had become traumatised after having seen many people die, but I certainly wouldn’t agree with them.

After my grandfather died, soon followed my neighbour who had died of an illness which then resulted in his wife and son – who was my only friend at that time – to move away as they wanted to start anew. There always seemed to be articles or a slot in the newspaper where they mentioned the people that had recently passed away, and sadly, that seemed to be the only section which I was interested in.

As I grew older, so did my fascination in death. One of the most recent deaths that had caught my attention was one that I had read in the newspaper about. An elderly lady who lived on the outskirts of town had committed euthanasia once she was informed of the fact that she had some sort of terminal disease. This story clearly baffled me as the lady clearly wanted to die.

The various opinions that had people had regarding the topic of death was very intriguing, but not in a good way. It seemed that people would never be capable of agreeing upon a certain subject or matter, not even a pretty straightforward once such as death… well, I guess it used to be straightforward.

My parents worried about me, that part I was sure of. They clearly noticed both my change in attitude and behaviour as I grew older, and that definitely didn’t put their minds at ease.

Once I came into close contact with death itself – not as close as I will come one day, but still pretty close – things changed for me. Things became clearer and it was easier to make sense of it all. But sadly, to be able to understand the concept of death, there always had to be a life at risk.

Death always played a part in life; it played the part of the inevitable.