Memories [random updates]

Memories | 05

Placing my beer down on the coffee table before me, I couldn’t help but gulp slightly as I stood up and moved towards him. It was unexplainable how lost and out of place I felt at the moment. One one hand there was this stranger sobbing in front of me, his body shaking as he mourned for both the deceased and alive. And on the other hand, there was Ally’s grandfather sobbing in front of me, a man who needed some comfort at the moment.

Swallowing whole my awkward nature, I stood next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder as he cried. Unsure of what to say or what to do that would bring him comfort, I felt feeble; useless as a fellow human being when I could not help this poor man in his hour of need. If I couldn’t do something as simple as this then what could I do?

Banishing such thoughts from my head, Ally came to mind. And for her, I tried.

Sitting down on the hard wood floor before him, I fidgeted for a moment before I directed my attention over to the other occupant of this room. “It helps if you talk about it, you know,” I began. “It’d be best if you just get everything out of your system.”

Honestly speaking, this wasn’t something that I would say. I wasn’t the type of guy that was very sensitive, the type of guy that would know what to do in such a situation. But this was normally the way that Ally would start off when she was trying to get me to open up, and it worked every time.

After taking a few slow breaths, he was able to calm himself down. “The universe is a cruel mistress.” He noted, his voice still a little croaky from all the tears that he had shed. “She plays around with your feelings and emotions, allows you to be happy and content for short, sweet moment before she snatches everything out from under you.” He said in monotone, almost as if he had repeated those words hundreds and hundreds of times before. Simply by looking at him in this state, I could tell that it was probably true.

Ally’s grandfather wasn’t crying anymore, but he was still solemn and quiet, almost as if he was thinking to himself.

When I had first met Ally’s grandfather, I imagined him to be a strong, brave man just by looking at him. But now, it seemed that his appearance and inner self were very much contrasted, almost as if they revealed one side of him to a person, and another to side to someone else.

It was almost as if his height and fearless facial features were a barrier, one which prevented people to see anything past that. But right now, those barriers seemed to have broken down and now, all his woes and sorrows had come gushing out like a flood.

At the moment, his eyes and nose were red from crying earlier; he held a sombre and pained expression on his face as he thought deeply. He held his body in a precautious manner, his body fragile, not the way he had when I had seen him the few times earlier.  I knew that Ally’s grandfather was aged and quite old, he kind of had to be if he was her grandfather, but he always seemed so healthy and younger than he appeared. But now, I could definitely debate upon that topic.

Benjamin, Ally’s grandfather had his arms wrapped around him, sitting on the edge of the sofa, slightly bent forward, his face facing down towards the rug on the floor, completely lost in his own oblivion.

Coughing, I attempted to bring him out of his daze. Looking up at me with his sad eyes, never have I ever seen such a broken person, I thought to myself. He was looking at me, but not really looking at me, almost as if he was looking through me. His eyes were glazed with fresh tears, tears that were threatening to fall.

“It would help if you shared your pain with somebody.” I suggested in a soft voice, not sure when he would completely break down. “Maybe that would help lessen the load.”

Fixating his upon me, almost as if this was the first time that he had seen me, he seemed to process my thoughts over in his head before he answered me. There were a few moments of silent, ones that should have been eerie and awkward, but surprisingly, it wasn’t; it was comfortable.