Best Friend's POV [Watty's2018]

11

So we're gonna back out of reality for a while.

What do you mean, Louis? How can you back out of reality?

Well, this is just my thoughts. Nothing that I said or Harry said. Just feelings and thoughts.

The whole purpose of this is to have people relate, and I want this to be unusual.

So whenever Harry and I are just hanging out, pre-Isabell, it was always low key. We weren't always making plans, just mostly sitting around, watching horror movies. We'd just scroll on our phones, telling another about the drama that we get pulled into.

It was just... I don't know, perfect? It like just made sense for us to do. There wasn't a lot of pressure to go out and be the best friends you see all over social media. We didn't have to go out and always post about each other, it was small and content.

And of course, I always got scared during the horror movies, so it meant laying close to Harry so I could hide my face. in his chest

It was a normal reaction, but as we got closer I realized that I would stay longer than needed, but he never noticed. If he wasn't dating Isabell now, looking back I would have sworn that he was at least bisexual. Maybe he is.

Of course, I never realized until right before they got together that I loved Harry. So I wouldn't have caught the hints in any time to work up the courage to ask him out before him and Isabell got together.

I could have told him before. I swear once he gave me the opportunity, but I just didn't get it then.

There I go,  looking way too much into it. I can't tell if I'm adding in things to make it seem like he did, or if I made it up.

The second seems more likely.

And present time, Isabell is trying to convince Harry to get me to go double dates with her friends, but I don't want to date anyone right now. It seems like an excuse, and it partly is, but I don't want to get with someone, only to move hours away and have a life that wouldn't actively involve them. It wasn't fair to them, and I wouldn't be fully into it.

Maybe I'm not in love with Harry. Maybe I'm just in love with the idea of dating him. I mean, I have built this idea in my head for like the last year. I've used examples from Isabell, and my own ideas too, but it's so weird to think about.

But why does it hurt so much to see him with someone else? That wouldn't just be the idea of love, would it?

And even if I did get over this thing with Harry, I couldn't get with another guy. Not until I can support myself, have a way to not need my parents. I still needed them now, but once it's just a visit on holidays, I'll tell them.

Then if they hate me, I'm not forced to constantly feel that. I know it's bad, but if I told them, it would spread like wildfire, and the town's not religious or anything, but I didn't want any judgment from them.

I still have to worry about Isabell slipping. It has me on edge, but what if it settled something with me and Harry?

What if telling him made it easier to see him with someone else?

But the fear of not having Harry at all is what drives me away. The idea of him hating me for not telling him for so long scares me the most. I don't want him to hate me.

I'll probably never tell him until we're both married and old and wrinkly when our grandkids are running around at the park. Look back at it and laugh one day.

My life's one giant love story that will never be like the fairy tale I wish it could be.