After graduating from high school, Mathew sets out to do a two-year missionary service like everyone else his age.
Mathew thought that his only problem would be him adjusting to the city as someone who's lived in a farming town all his life. he didn...
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To: JiHeePark@gmail.com
Subject: I just thought I should write home.
Hello mum, it's Mathew. I've been at the station for about one month now, and I thought I should message you. Everyone here in the station's doing alright. We're having a lot of fun and learning a lot along the way.
How's everyone? I hope Cath and Jessica are doing okay. Please ask them to pray for me.
I need it. I thought to myself as I typed up an email to my mother. For the past few days, I had been taking walks with Nathaniel and learning more about him. Now I knew Nathaniel still visited the Catholic church in the town that was a few hours ride from the one we were in. I also knew Nathaniel didn't talk to his father — or didn't know him. I wasn't too sure about the exact details.
I bit my bottom lip as I stared at my screen My chest started to feel a bit tight. What if they knew? I wondered, thinking to my parents. This was something I had started panicking about. I started thinking about how Olivia would react, how my brothers would react, how my small little town back home would react if they found out that I was thinking about a man like this. Though it was just plain paranoia, it's not like anyone could see my thoughts written on my face.
I had feelings for Nath, and worse still, I had stopped fighting them. I was banking on the chance that Nath himself would never notice and they would fade away with time, but I had two years in this station, and I wasn't too confident that I wouldn't do something stupid before then. I was already jealous of everyone and everything that hung around Nath that I might as well implode from the feeling of jealousy alone.
I let out a sigh, allowing my fingers to meet with the keys of my laptop.
I've been enjoying my service. I thought it was going to be hard, to be honest, but it's a lot like repeating the training we got back home. Sam and I are talking to a few people at the moment and helping them out with the basics. It's nice to help people find a path to God.
As you stray from yours. A voice said in my head as I continued to type up the email. I ignored it, trying my best to concentrate on the wall of text in front of me.
Olivia's a natural at this. She's doing great. I don't think she has written to home yet. I should remind her to do that.
I continued in my email. It was early in the morning. About four A.M. to be exact. I wasn't going downstairs for my regular jog until seven, and I don't even think I wanted to go. Nath had told me he was going out of town to the other shop he worked at sometimes. He had even handed me his house keys, 'just in case.' I wasn't sure what that meant. Was he trying to lead me into doing something? Was he expecting something from me?
God, I'm overthinking this.
My worries clouded my thoughts, and I couldn't really concentrate on writing the email. I saved it as a draft before getting up from the seat at my study desk. Sam was still out like a rock, and probably won't be awake until eight-thirty.
