After graduating from high school, Mathew sets out to do a two-year missionary service like everyone else his age.
Mathew thought that his only problem would be him adjusting to the city as someone who's lived in a farming town all his life. he didn...
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We left at the dawn of the morning. The car was quiet throughout the ride besides the occasional sigh from Nath. I was not sure what he was thinking about, but I decided to let it be.
It wasn't until we drove into town that Nath turned to me. I could see him from the corner of my eyes. His brown eyes were set on me like he was trying to figure something out. I didn't look over at him because of the intensity of his gaze, and the fact that he might notice that my eyes were red and puffy. I might have sobbed last night, and I never got around to sleeping until late in the night.
"I took you out because I wanted us to have fun," he said before he looked away, easing into the dirt roads. "I'm sorry things turned out the way they did."
"It's fine," I muttered. My voice was shaky, and I wasn't sure why it was that way. My mind was buzzing with questions I was asking myself, and a lump wedged itself in my throat anytime I thought of having to end this sooner or later.
I didn't want to.
But I was too much of a coward to set my foot down and take the leap.
I heard Nathaniel sigh at my reply, and the car soon went silent again. He drove all the way to the front of my room's window. We got down, and he helped me climb back into my room, using the concrete footing around the windows as mini stairs. I had checked the time in Nath's car before we got out. It was currently past five in the morning, and I doubt anyone was awake. When I made it into my room I turned around, looking down at Nath. He waved, and I waved back before watching him walk back to his car and driving off.
A small smile made its way to my lips. It wasn't a smile of happiness, more of a smile of confusion and pretense. If only that alone could convince me that everything was okay. After a while of looking out into the roads that were bathed in the blue-yellow color of the early morning, I stepped back from the window, looking behind me to find Sam fast asleep. A small chuckle escaped my lips. I guess I should be grateful for the fact that he slept like a rock. He didn't react to me moving about the room as I freshened up and returned to bed as if I had never left.
Later in the day, I went out with Sam as usual. Knocking on doors, sharing pamphlets and answering questions, but my mind wasn't there. I was thinking of something — someone. I wondered what Nath was doing. I wondered whether he thought of me as much as I thought of him.
"Mathew." I blinked, realizing I had spaced out again. Sam had been talking to me about something, though I can't remember what exactly. We were standing in the middle of the hallway with a handful of other people dotting the corners.
"I'm sorry, what were you saying?" I asked, running my fingers through my dark hair as I looked up at him in embarrassment. His lips drew into an even thinner line. He was losing his patience with me. It was clear from his expression.
A frown formed on Sam's face as he let out a sigh before shaking his head. "I'm worried about you," he said, looking down at the clipboard in his hand before pointing at my name that was written at the top in a nice cursive print.
