After graduating from high school, Mathew sets out to do a two-year missionary service like everyone else his age.
Mathew thought that his only problem would be him adjusting to the city as someone who's lived in a farming town all his life. he didn...
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"Mathew." I turned at the sound of a familiar female voice. I looked away when I saw Olivia standing behind me, and she sighed as I went about rearranging the books. The library was pretty empty at this time since most people were at work or school. I kept arranging the books. I even took out some books to place them right back as I waited for Olivia to leave, but I never heard her walking away. The library was decently sized, not huge, but large enough that I was stuck in the middle with Olivia in the midst of towering wooden shelves while the other employees were a good distance away.
I was a bit upset by that. If someone was close I would at least have been able to pretend I was called.
"Mathew, I'm not leaving. You have to talk to me," she said, and I just continued rearranging the books. I heard her sigh again, but this time she walked forward, standing right beside me so that I couldn't ignore her. The small smile she gave me when I looked at her from the corner of my eyes made me almost drop the book in my hand. I reacted quickly and looked away, pretending that she wasn't there.
"Math," she said, reaching out to hold the book I was about to place back on the shelve. "Who do you think you're fooling?"
I opened my mouth to say something, but I closed it and shook my head instead. I left the book with Olivia, and it tumbled to the ground since she hadn't expected me to let go.
"Olivia, we can't have a conversation if you're going to keep pushing the same remedies," I emphasized the last part as I took some steps back. My words made her frown a bit. The worst part about this situation is that Olivia hasn't changed at all. She didn't hate me. she's just trying to help me like she would any member of our church, but it's extremely tiring to try and explain to her why
"I want us to be friends, but I have a feeling you'll keep trying to sneak in counseling as an option. I don't want that. I'm not sick. I'm fine," I said, watching as her lips trembled a bit.
"You're not." Her reply was expected. I felt my shoulders sag, and I covered my face with my palm as I decided to play along and not argue that fact with her.
"You can't cure homosexuality with counseling — with anything," I said. My wording was making my stomach churn with acid. Trying to argue out my attraction to Nath like it was a disease made me frustrated, but I wasn't sure how else to talk to Olivia.
"Why not?" she asked. Her red hair was pinned back in a tight neat bun, and her brows were now in a firm frown.
"It's not going to help—"
"Who told you that? The man you're living with?" she asked, and I stayed quiet. Nath had told me about a couple of his friends that had tried to get rid of their gayness — of course it never really worked, but the horror stories were hard to listen to. I wasn't sure what exactly my church did about being gay, but I did know they pushed counseling for a 'normal life.'
"Yes, he did," I eventually said. I was keeping my voice as low as possible. The other people that worked in the library were all the way on the other side by the main desk, but if they found out Olivia was here bothering me they would probably toss her out.
