A New Start (Harry Styles Fanfic)

Chapter 20

SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY

IT FEELS LIKE CENTURIES SINCE MY LAST UPLOAD AND I AM SO SORRY! but it's here not!

So this chapter isn't really like the previous ones. A lot of explaining is in this chapter, and it's pretty deep, I'm not gonna lie. I've tried really hard to capture it right, which is partly why it took me so long to write, so I really hope you like it.

And I just want to say,  if any of you aare affected by this or whatever, I'm just a inbox away. Seriously, I'm happy to talk to you whenever! Chat me, Inbox me, whatever you wanna do, I'm here! :)

So without further ado, GET READING! ;)

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Chapter 20

Harrys P.O.V

I glared at the clock, watching as the long hand budged a bit, so it was now showing 5:30pm. Emily will be with him now. That boy who is taking her away from me, when she should be with me.

I’ve accepted it fully now. I know that I’m in love with Emily. If only I had been a bit quicker to realise it, she could be mine now. It could be me she was rushing out of work to see. Not him.

My mind drifted back to last night, and how scared I had been. The girl I love, thrashing about and screaming in her sleep, is not something I want to be woken by. But right before she woke up, she had been desperately calling my name, and when I finally did wake her, she said ‘you’re alive’. Those words set off a little spark in the bottom of my stomach. A little spark of hope. Maybe she did care for me. Not in the way I wish she did, but that’s better than nothing.

But I swear my heart broke in two as I held her in my arms last night, whilst she soaked her way through my shirt. I have never seen anything like what happened to her last night. Sure, I’ve seen people cry, but never have I witnessed the amount of emotion that was pouring out of her. I’ve never seen anything like it. She just looked so broken and vulnerable, like she was exposing herself. I hated seeing her that way, but I knew she had to let it out. I’m just glad I could be there for her, and she didn’t have to go through that alone. She always appeared strong on the surface, but I guess that was all just a façade. Underneath, she is broken and hurting, and I got to see that last night.

But what did she mean by ‘I’m not ready to tell you’. What can’t she tell me? What is she hiding from me? I want to know. Damn it, I need to know. There’s one thing I don’t like, and that’s secrets! I know she could remember her dream. It was written all over her face. She just wasn’t telling me. Why? It obviously terrified her, so why didn’t she confide in me about it? I was right there, ready to listen. It must be something big. Why else would she hide it from me?

Groaning in frustration, I thumped my hands down on the bar, before pushing the bar stool back. Completely forgetting about my bad foot, I hopped down off the stool, crumpling to floor as a sharp pain shot up and down my leg.

“Shit!” I exclaimed, hands reaching down to hold my foot, trying to supress the pain. Not working. I clambered up to my feet messily and, using whatever I could to help keep me upright, hoped over to mine and Lou’s room. Once I was safely in there, I collapsed backwards onto the bed, and vigorously ran my hands up and down my faces.

I don’t know how long I am going to be able to keep all of this inside me. I know she’s happy with him, but I want her so badly. I want her to be mine. Not his. Why can’t she see that? Why does she not see that whenever she walks into a room, it lights up, and everything feels so much better? When she talks to me, her voice is one of an angel, calming me and keeping me sane. And when she touches me, when I hold her in my arms, my heart is beating at the speed of light, and everything just feels right. It feels perfect. We fit together like two puzzle pieces. How does she not see that?