A YouTubers Dream x Bts

Chapter 21

It's been a few days since the...thing..happened to me. I feel numb literally numb. I can hardly move. I only speak unless I absolutely have to and that's saying alot. I don't even talk a lot around the boys anymore. I haven't posted a video in like 3 weeks and it's not fair to the fans or my best friends. They don't even know what happened to me.

'Hey I'm going out for a walk' I yelled through the house as I grabbed my bag. Walks always help me clear my head.

'I'll come with you' Jungkook said as he started to put his shoes on.

'It's okay kookie I can go by myself. I'll be back in a few. There's food in the fridge if you guys get hungry or you can order pizza'

'No I'll go really I want to'

'Kookie I kind of want to go by myself'

'Come on I just don't want anything to happen to y-'

'I SAID I CAN GO BY MYSELF.' I raised my voice at him. I've never done that with any of them. I could tell it bothered him by the way his eyes widened and looked down.

'Hey what's going on' Jimin asked on his way from the living room.

'Nothing' Jungkook responded while storming away.

Jimin gave me a 'what was that all about' look and I knew I did wrong.

'I wanted to go for a walk and he wouldn't let me go by myself'

'Lexie he was just being nice'

'I know that's why I feel bad. I'll go talk to him I don't want him to feel like he did anything wrong'

'Do you want me to go?'

'No I got it.'

I walked in the direction that Jungkook went. I looked in all the rooms until I got to the last which was my relax room. I haven't been in my relax room in a long time.

As I walked in I saw him sitting in one of the bean bags in the corner of the room.

'Hey.' I said as I sunk in the bean bag next to him.

'Hey.' He replied looking at the ground avoiding eye contact with me.

I didn't want to make him feel this way. I didn't mean to snap but I did. What's wrong with me? He did nothing but try to be a good friend.

'Look I'm sorry for yelling I really am. I just feel so trapped. I know you want to protect me but I need freedom just like you. I love you kookie with all my heart and I never want to yell at you and hurt your feelings-'

I felt his warm hand connect with my cheek before I could finish. He wiped away my tears before he wiped away his own.

'I understand that now. I just feel that what happened to you was my fault. Like if I would have been there with you behind stage it wouldn't have happened. I never wanted that to happen to you and for you to feel the way you do.' He broke down crying as he finished his words. I couldn't stand to see him like this it broke my heart.

'Oh kookie it's not your fault at all. It's no one's fault but his. Don't ever put yourself down like that. There's nothing that anyone could have done to stop it. If it wasn't then he would have done it later.' I whispered as I got up from my bean bag to sit in his. As I sat in the bean bag next to him he wrapped his arms around me and nudged his head in my should. I could feel his hot tears soak in the corner of my shirt. I'm sure he could feel mine fall on the back of his shirt.

I'm not sure how long we sat there crying but it was long enough for us to grow a new relationship. A stronger relationship. Not a 'feelings' relationship but a caring relationship. One that shouldn't ever be broken no matter what. It was strong but not as strong as yoongis and I. But Yoongis and I relationship was a different kind of relationship. I feel a deep connection that I have never felt before and it makes me nervous. Almost like a lovesick nervous.