cartoon characters flash on the television as i click it on. ashton's room is nice, comfy, and small. it doesn't contain a lot of irrelevant stuff just the usual television, dresser, desk and bed. his desk is full of papers and silly doodles probably during classes or i don't know, work. i never asked where ashton worked before he was fired so i wouldn't know.
my mind replays the painful memory of niall with someone else. no matter how many times he's hit, punched, and kicked me, nothing will hurt as bad as knowing he's with someone else.
my phone kept blowing up with calls and text messages from him, but ashton told me to turn off my cell phone and not to reply back to him before he went to the living room to sleep. he told me that niall doesn't deserve my response so i haven't touched the cell phone on my nightstand since.
the scent of ashton's cologne wafts into my nostrils as i bury my face in his pillow. all i want to do is sleep off all the pain, but everything feels so weird that i can't go to sleep. it's unusual to not sleep beside niall, to not have him stir beside me or to wrap his arm around my waist.
it's all different and i don't know if i'll ever let myself back into the same bed with him now that i know he has a side chick - or maybe i'm the side chick.
i shove the sheets off of me. the room feels so hot. how hot can you make a room during winter? does this temperature even exist during january?
i feel sick. today was supposed to be a good day. something inside of me wishes that i didn't know about niall and the nameless blonde so i could continue living the twisted relationship i had with him.
