Boobs and Other Potty Mouthed Words

Chapter 11: Mixed Emotions

It's two o'clock in the morning. And I can't close my eyes for more than ten minutes without picturing it. It's been weeks since the kiss and yet it's all I can think about.

I don't know what came over us. Me. It was the fumes from the paint. Right? It had to be!

I turn to my side closing my eyes seeing it all over again. I sigh softly as images of paint filling the air and making a boy holding flowers into art on a wall. I see us running away once we heard sirens. I saw us stopping to get vanilla ice cream. I saw my nose wet and cold with a white blotch as he poked and teased me. And then, for some reason we had stopped.

It had to be the fumes because I didn't shrug away or become embarrassed. I didn't blush when he inched closer. I closed my eyes and opened my mouth ever so slightly. As our lips touched tenderly, I dropped the remainder of my ice cream. I touched his cheek softly. I did not push him away. I did not push Chris away. And in that instant...I almost forgot all about My Chris.

He parted away from me first, and searched my eyes. I suppose he didn't see much, so he took off my glasses...and then he kissed me again. And I didn't push that kiss away, either. It was not until the sky opened it's eyes and cried for us. Cooling us off from our own hormones. We parted at the same time, he slipped my glasses back on, and we ran back to my house.

I had turned to him before slipping into my house. He touched my cheek and whispered "Sweet dreams." before coming into my space again. This time, my first thought was me wondering how long it had been before I texted My Chris. Or how Ryan's lips woul have felt if he inched closer earlier that day. And I realized...my heart wasn't only Chris'. I backed away quickly, pushing him slightly. He had looked at me with utter confusion. I told him goodnight. And I ran inside. Taking off in my Bat Girl Mobile.

I ran upstairs, dripping wet and went to my phone as soon as I could to text My Chris. And he obviously didn't get what I was hinting at. Though, I can't say I even totally understood. I think the kiss was one of the reasons why everything changed. At first, it didn't matter if I met Chris--my Chris. Now, it does. It matters that I know everything about My Chris. It matters that I know his actualy name- that I see him in person. I need to make sure my heart isn't his as well. I'm already battling myself.

"Dear God!" I yell out opening my eyes to daylight. I must have actually fallen asleep? I turn to my brother opening my door with a bang and then looking at me in utter confusion. "Out!" I yell at him. Jason put his hands up slowly backing away.

"White flag, white flag. Retreat, retreat." Jason says as he closes my door, his voice fading out. "Grace is awake!" he yells to my Mother, who I could hear enduring her share of morning sickness. It's been getting worse and worse lately.

I get up and go to my closet. What do you wear after kissing a guy and then freaking out about it..? I should have asked that long ago, but the more I think about it the more I want to impress him. I mean, we aren't dating, and I prefer to kinda leave it like that but the questions will soon start coming...I think. Jeans. Tank top. I found my fingertips inching towards my baggy sweatshirt but shook it away grabbing my flannel shirt and sliding my glasses on. I walk to the bathroom- where my mom is busy throwing up. "Ma?" I clear my throat, brushing my hair.

She slides on the floor looking up to me, lifting a brow in question. I guess it's something we have in common.

"Can I borrow your red lipstick..?" I press my lips together huffing my chest as though I was defending my position or something. She smiles softly.

"You can have it. On my dresser." I nod and march to her bedroom grabbing it. I turn to the mirror and slowly put it on. Oddly, I liked it. If Chris were to look at me though, would he remember the kisses before I freaked out or the kiss that freaked me out? Agh. I'll wear it anyways. I go back I my room and grab my cell. Which already had a new message from Chris....ahem, I mean 'Chris'.