Boobs and Other Potty Mouthed Words

Chapter 23: Freak Out

I sit my phone on my kitchen table hearing the silence fill the thick air. The ticks of our kitchen clock. The creaks of our old house, yes but nothing else. Being suspended I was able to spend a lot of time to myself. And right now I kinda needed it.

I turn away from the table tearing my eyes from the words spread across the screen. Chris never got an answer back from me. He loves me? He says that now? Why? I stand up chewing my inner cheek crossing my arms.

Maybe I was overthinking it.

I pace across the floor.

Right? I'm overthinking it. I must be. It could be like a brotherly love. A friendly love! Yeah it must be that.

I quickly snatch my phone off the kitchen table. And type: Like...friend-love or love-love?

My phone buzzes in my hand a couple minutes later catching me in the middle of my never ending thoughts. I almost drop the fucking thing before looking at the screen.

Chris: Um....love. I love you. I'm pretty sure we are past the whole friend love right?

I groan loudly... so loudly in fact it came out as a growl. Tipping my head back I stare at my ceiling flipping the bird to the Big Macho Man up there laughing his ass off at my current situation. I wish I could flind my cell phone like a boomerang. So I could actually throw it but it wouldn't break.

Another vibration. I don't jump this time, but I lift the message letting my eyes read...and re-read....and re-re-read...because I couldn't comprehend what I was staring at.

Chris: Don't say anything. I don't expect you to suddenly say 'I love you too!' Think about it. I want to meet you. I want to talk to you. This is better explained in person. Let's do it tomorrow? Or maybe the next day? It's up to you...

My jaw tightens my heart dropping to the floor and rolling around. Hewants to meet me. Which means I actually would know him- he wouldn't be some imaginary friend anymore. He would be real and he has feelings for me. But so does Ryan and I have feelings for him too. But I've also felt for Chris before...what if I'm moving on too quick? I need to talk to Ryan. That's what I need to do.

I put down my cell phone and walk to my couch curling myself up in a blanket. I take the remote and turn on the tv watching images of people go about their lives yet what I see is not processing. It's like I'm an empty shell, my mind a million yards away from my skull.

When Justin comes home he pauses at the edge of the couch looking at me. "You okay?" he asks. I nod shrugging off the blanket.

"I'm surprised you're home already. You're usually home later then this." I smile half heartedly.

"I promised to bring you to mom." he responds not taking off his jacket. Oh, yes that's right. A sudden electric bolt runs through my body making me jolt into a sprint for the stairs. I didn't look good. In fact, I looked like a greasy mole rat. "Okay, yeah I'll wait!" Justin laughs as I hear him plop down on the couch.

I run into the bathroom starting the shower. Jumping into it I felt all my thoughts washing off. I held onto only one. Seeing my mother and sister would be the highlight of the evening. I couldn't help but to smile. I'd get out of the house I've been stuck in for a week. I'd see my mom, I'd touch my sister. Excitement stirred in me like a windy winter night and I couldn't contain myself.

Jumping out and sliding on jeans an a sweater I ran downstairs my eyes landing first on Ryan. Then Justin standing in front of Ryan with his arms crossed off. "Is everything okay?" I ask their heads look up to me. Ryan smiles and walks to me. We hug and kiss before I hear the door slam shut behind Justin. "Woah, what's up with him?"