A Boy in a Girls Body

Concerning Sam

Ash's pov:

Sammy has been more than jumpy. He doesn't sleep. He's super on edge. He hasn't let go of me since Friday. It's Sunday right now. I'm more concerned about him than usual. We're sitting outside the center.

“Ash?” Sammy asks.

“Yeah?” I say.

“I’m not too clingy right? This isn’t bothering you?” He says.

“It’s not bothering me. What’s bothering me is that you’re not telling me what’s wrong. I know what happened was scary, but you need to talk about it Sammy.” I say.

“I know. I just don’t know what to say. It’s really hard to talk about it, to relive what happened.” he says.

“Okay. You can talk about it when you’re ready.” I tell him.

He grabbed my hand and we go into the music room. He sits down at the piano, and for the first time in three days, he let go of my hand. He started playing the piano. His fingers dance across the keys to make an unknown melody. I listen to his song and i feel the pain in his music.

I realize, this is how he’s telling me what happened. He doesn’t have the words to say, so he plays it. I listen to the wordless song worth a thousand words. He starts crying while playing but doesn’t stop playing. I understand every note, every movement, every little note has meaning.

He finishes the song. I gently wipe the tears from his eyes. I kiss him. He kisses me back. I pull away and put my forehead on his. I hold his cheek in my hand and gently caress it with my thumb.

“I understand Sammy. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I’m going to protect you no matter what for now on Sammy. Nothing will ever get you until the day you die. I promise.” I say.

“You promise?” He asks.

“I cross my heart and hope to die.” I say.

“Thank you.” Sammy says.

Since i’m a certified officer now, i’m allowed to carry around firearms as long as i’m not at school. At school i’m allowed to have at least a knife. I have every class with sammy, so that means I have him in my sight all hours of the day. I’m his own personal bodyguard, i’m not going to let him down.

Sammy was pretty scared. I could tell. He just, didn't know what to do. I wish I could help him. I wish I knew what to do in this situation, but I don't.  I may only be seventeen, but I won't let Sammy get hurt no matter what.

What I fear the most is being in a situation where I can't help him. Being completely useless. That is my worst nightmare.

Sammy grabbed my hand and took me through the center and to the outside. He didn't say a word. We just walk. I don't know what's going on, but he just continues walking.

We get to the park. He takes me through the forest and to the waterfall. He takes me by the river then he kisses me.

I don't know what's going on, but I kiss him back. He wraps his arms around my neck, I put my hands on his waist. We kiss for a long time then he pulls away.

"Can we stay here tonight?" He asks.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"I mean, can we stay the night here, at the waterfall. Look up at the stars and fall asleep by the water. School can wait another day. I just, want to stay here." Sammy says.

"Okay." I say.

"Thank you." He says.

We sit on the ground and look at the sky. He lays in my lap and I play with his hair. I hum a song as he closes his eyes and listens. We don't say anything. We just stay there and take in the veiw. I hope things stay this way.