••×c h a p t e r 40ו•

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••×c h a p t e r  40ו•








MIST's POV.

We've been able to find fate noona within the few given minutes, however. . . At her state, she wouldn't be able to give the right amount of cure to Z.

"I— I... I'm so sorry, Mist." She lowered her head looking at the lifeless Z laying soulless on the cold ground.

"I understand." I told her.

Just like me, everyone is dead ass tired and worn out. No one of us were able to cure her... The amount of Youtu we have isn't even enough to enable the curse inside her. I wish there was another way. I wished above the crimson sky and to the gods above there to save her. Yet none had hear me out.

"Mist. . ." Night pats my shoulder, but it seems like my cold eyes wouldn't budge one bit to spare him a glance. My eyes were locked to Z.

I bit my lips trying to suppress a sob. "Hyung, why does it hurts so much. . ." I clenched my hand to my chest as tears brimmed down my cheeks.

None of them answered me.

My heart hurts.

I thought I was just sad seeing Z in this state... Turns out I'd be hurting more than I've expected. A sharp pang inside my chest and the denied lump on my throat feels burning. This is too painful and I don't even see the reason why I was mourning.

"Wi—Will she die?" I asked them. They were silent but all nodded.

I shook my head, at the back of my mind, I was blaming my self for what had happened. If I wasn't reckless and stubborn, if only I knew how to control myself. . . Z wouldn't have to—

I gulped harshly, backing away from everyone. . . They gave me confused looks but I refused to meet one of their gazes. I ran.

I ran away.

The memories of her with me suddenly flashed through my mind. Our memories together. Those were supposed to be entitled happy memories, yet I feel upset and sad remembering them. The happiest moments of my life turned into a pit of dark and sorrowful pack of lonely memories.

She seems like she was just a comet to my life, she provided the greatest moments with me and suddenly disappear like nothing happened.

Somehow, the barrier, the wall I keep on building around me, my defense. . . Everything crushed to pieces. I told myself not to love someone who's going to hurt my feelings. Yet I was here, I just realized. . . I fucking love her!

Not a crush like I had for Angelique noona. . . Not infatuation like with Snow. This feeling inside of me was different.

"I always thought love was wonderful," I mumbled to myself as I crouched down. I held my head and tried wiping the tears away. "Turns out, love is horrible."

"And you're stupid that you just accepted your feelings now." I flinched. I turned to see Shade hyung staring at me coldy.

"Le-Leave me alone!" I shouted.

However, he just smirked at me. . . He gazed more deadly and coldy before spatting, "man up and have balls kid, you're not the only one who lost someone important."

My eyes widened, I was selfish.

"Z is important for us." He muttered, "Come with me and watch her disappear together. We will pray for her." He smiled softly before lending me his hands.




AS we arrived infront of the headquarters, everyone was already gathered with their worn out and wounded bodies, we all arrived inside the holy gymnasium. Z was no longer laying on the ground. She was laid down on a glass long table  filled with flowers underneath her and white lilies rest between her two hands that was ontop of her stomach.

She was already glowing and her skin turning to silver flower petals.

We all bowed and kneel down as we watch her disappear in thin petals to shiny tiny dust. The open ceiling led her dust bits to fly to the sky.

My tears kept brimming. The feeling of thousand needles sinking on my heart and the heavy depressing atmosphere were not helping how I felt useless and hopeless of the situation. But despite of the painful feeling. . . I knew I wasn't alone, as soon as I heard few sobs coming here and there. Loud muffled sobs and yelps from few familiar friends and co-warriors. . . They were feeling the same as me.

Had you ever felt like you wanted to embrace someone yet its all air you have infront of you.

I felt helpless.

If only I could've hold her longer.

If only I was able to tell her. . .

‘But despite the pain, I would never regret meeting her’

I let my tears flow as I stare at the now starry sky. ‘mama, when I was younger I'd always thought I hear your voice telling me to find someone who'll love me and I'll love. . . Now that I knew my past, I clearly remember your voice and what you said. You told me that you won't stay with me till future but you promised to protect me.’

"Mama, I found someone who I love. . . But she couldn't wait to meet you. She's gone now." I silently whispered. "I miss her already, I guess everyone I love tend to leave me at the end."








[ six months later ]


DURING the past years. . . I've always been fascinated by the idea of love. Through the shabby dream about my mom telling me to find someone I love.

All of those fascination disappeared after Z left me too.

Loving was never for me. It's been six months now. I've decided not to love nor to express my feelings to anyone anymore.

They said I've turned cold and distant.

It was true, I've become distant to everyone. Not even Night hyung and Storm hyung could cheer me up.

I'm afraid that if I add my friends to the list of people I like and love, they'll leave me too.









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A/N: the next chapter will be a special chapter. I think y'all people need to breathe air for a sec.😂😂😅

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