The Septics

A Day With Ze Doctah

Dr. Schneeplestein was seated at his kitchen table, casually eating some toast with marmalade as he glanced through yesterday's newspaper. He was always a day behind on the news, because this quiet time in the morning before the paper was delivered, was often the only time he had to read it. A knock at the door signaled the beginning of his day and he crammed the rest of the slice of toast in his mouth, brushing crumbs off his scrub shirt as he stood. Pulling his lab coat from the back of the chair he pulled it on, then took a sip of his coffee to wash down the toast before finally going to answer the door. He cleared his throat as he opened it and sighed softly at the half rotten man before him.

A pathetic groan came from the decaying creature. "Robbie." Dr. Schneeplestein nodded, looking him over. Robbie's tongue lolled down over his neck, partially covering a large, rotten gash, oozing a thick reddish fluid which at one time was likely blood. "Vhere is your jaw?" With a soft whine, the creature lifted his arm straight out in front of him. Sure enough, within his hand was a partially flesh covered lower mandible. Nodding, Dr. Schneeplestein took a step back and motioned him in. "Come on now Robbie, let us get you sorted." He watched Robbie shuffle into his apartment before he closed the door. "Vhat happened? Vere you trying to show off again?" Robbie shrugged his shoulders, avoiding eye contact with the doctor. "Robbie..." Dr. Schneeplestein scolded. "Did you try to fit an entire skull in your mouth again?" Robbin just grunted, shrugging his shoulders again as he stared at the floor. "Ve have been over zis and over zis... ze human skull is not going to fit in your mouth." Robbin whined, looking up at him. "No. It simply vill not fit. Zere is not enough room."

Shaking his head, the doctor laid out some plastic sheeting on the floor and dragged a reclining chair onto it, then covered the chair in a sheet. "Sit down." Robbie did as he was told. Grabbing a bucket and a bottle of mouth wash, the doctor set them on the sheet before holding a hand out for the jaw. Robbie dropped it into his hand and the doctor set it in the bucket, soaking it in mouth wash and left it as he headed for his closet of doctor supplies. Digging around, he returned with some pins, a small hammer and package of suture. "I vill secure it better zis time Robbie, but no more skulls. No more!" Robbie groaned, nodding a little and Dr. Schneeplestin sighed. He had the feeling that Robbie wasn't going to follow his orders. He grabbed the zombie's head and tilted it back to get a good look at where the jaw needed to attach. He held his breath avoiding breathing in Robbie's smell, deciding that vomiting on his patient wouldn't be very professional. "Hold still." He instructed, letting go of Robbie and walked over to the bucket.

Lifting the jaw out of the liquid, he shook it a few times before bringing it back to Robbie. Lining it up and checking how the joints fit together, the doctor set up his first pin and began to hammer it into place. Robbie squirmed a little, possibly uncomfortable but the doctor was fairly certain that the creature didn't feel pain. If he did, he would probably stop accidentally ripping body parts off in the first place. Dr. Schneeplestein worked as quickly as he could, securing a few pins into the top jaw and into the bottom, before he connected them with tightly wound suture. Then he tried to stretch some muscle into place and secure it by suturing what little flesh was left. "There..." Dr. Schneeplestein sighed. "Open your mouth for me Robbie." The doctor frowned when the jaw didn't move, then gave a sigh of relief when it finally did. Robbie opened and closed his mouth few times before giving a more upbeat moan.

"You are velcome." Dr. Schneeplestein nodded, glancing over his patient. "Let me flush out ze open wounds vhile you are here." He pointed out, grabbing a bottle of saline from his medical closet, along with a syringe. He flushed any open wounds he saw, cleaning them up as much as possible before he ushered the shambling, mostly dead man out of his apartment. He cleaned up, throwing out the plastic sheets and washed the bucket. He had just sat down, sipping his coffee when there was another knock.