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Promise - Ben Howard

"I Promise." Remus was anxious to hear about Sirius. He had never mentioned anything about having a mental illness. Remus was too oblivious to catch on to anything when it came to Sirius. They always got lost in one another.

"In highschool, Sirius realized that he was gay. Peter and I definitely already knew but we didn't want to pressure him. Anyway, he had this boyfriend and they would do everything together. His family thought they were just good friends. Sirius was at his house and they were doing things. His boyfriends mom caught them and she immediately sent Sirius home. She called his mom and told him. Neither of them were out at the time." James explained.

"Sirius has never had it good at home. His brother was the favorite and sirius was just discarded. His mom put him through hell everyday. So when she found out..." His voice cracked and Peter put his arm around him.

"H-he was sent to the hospital. She b-beat him so bad, he could have died." Remus was trying to comprehend everything that was being said. Lily gave everyone a mug of tea and sat in a chair across from them.

"I told my mom and she did everything she could to get him out of that house. When he was well enough to leave we moved him into our guest bedroom. My mom thought it would help him to get a therapist. He was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and post traumatic stress disorder. I think he knew he had bpd, he just never wanted to make it a big deal. He hated being a bother to us but he isn't. It's so hard sometimes. He changes so fast."

"Sometimes he'll hate us, for no reason. And in a couple of hours he'll love us again. We know not to take it to heart by now but it still hurts." Peter added. "Sometimes he's not even there. It's called dissociation. When he slips into it, he's just a shell of himself."

"Yeah, the self harm started a little bit after the incident. Him and his boyfriend were done and they weren't allowed to see each other anymore. He felt so alone. He had us but sometimes that isn't enough. He grows these strong attachments to people and when they leave or hurt him, it hits him hard." Remus flinched. "I think that's why today's episode was so bad. He grew attached to you, and you called him that word. He really likes you remus. I know you're straight but-" James was interrupted by Lily laughing.

"You really think Remus is straight? Wait, Remus do you really think you're straight? This is amazing." Lily started laughing a little more. "Did you forget about Frank? You had the biggest crush on him." His face turned a bright red and they all laughed a little. "Okay, continue."

"I'm just thinking that, if you don't intend on staying in his life, don't get too involved. When you leave, it'll kill him. Don't take it personal if he distances himself from you, please be patient with him." Remus nodded.

"I never really thought of him that way. I wish I can take back what I said to him. I don't hate him, not even a little bit." Remus put his head in the hands and James rubbed his back.

"It'll all be okay. Sirius is strong and not just physically." James laughed. "I'm surprised you could knock him down. I guess you just caught him off guard."

They all fell into pointless conversations about Lily's plants and how their classes are. Lily suggested that they watch a movie and order a pizza but she fell asleep shortly after. James carried her to her room and into her bed.

Remus offered the boys his room knowing he won't get much sleep. It's big enough for he two boys so they agreed and said their good nights.

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