If I Lose Myself

Chapter Twenty-Two: Draco

If I Lose Myself
by EMPG22HoPe

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Chapter Twenty-Two: Draco

August 1997

The first letter Draco received from Astoria was dated on the fourth of July. Draco had not been at Malfoy Manor when the letter arrived by owl. His aunt Bellatrix was the one that had received the letter for him and did little with her discretion of tearing the letter open herself. She set him on edge, his aunt.

He had been at Spinner's End with his mother and Severus Snape, staying out of sight from the Ministry a week after Dumbledore's funeral had transpired at Hogwarts until Bellatrix came to escort them back to the manor after the place had been given all manner of protective spells. But Malfoy Manor was no longer home to Draco since, because the Dark Lord had used his home as headquarters to his number of most trusted Death Eaters; all sinister enough to taint the ancient and most noble halls of his home.

July 4th, 1997

Dearest Draco,

I do not know where to start. But I suppose I should start by saying that I hope that you're alright, that you're still alive and safe somewhere with your mother. The Ministry has a price on you and Professor Snape's head. You cannot imagine how it pains me to see it. I've prayed to just about every higher being that you are far from all that's happening.

I also do not know if the rumors of your involvement in Professor Dumbledore's demise are true. There are far too many sides of the story right now, and everyone is still devastatingly confused. A part of me is hoping that you didn't have his blood on your hands. I pray Professor Snape saved you that trouble, or whichever way has happened.

Whether you did it or not, I still stand by what I said to you not long ago. There is nothing that you could have done or will ever do that would make me think any less of you.

Please keep safe.

All my love,
Astoria

Draco held on to that letter as though it was the only thing that tethered him to the earth, to any semblance of human sanity that's still left in him.

The second letter arrived during the week when Draco and his mother finally returned to Malfoy Manor. He made quick haste to meet any owl that came by the manor, despite Avery being on owl-post duty. Draco managed to snatch the familiar insignia of the Greengrass crest waxed letter before Avery could even bat an eye. It arrived only moments after one of the meetings in the manor's common room. Too much has happened in that room since his arrival. That is, to say, so many people have died there at the hands of the Dark Lord himself or several Death Eaters. That day was the second time he'd seen someone die. It was one of the Death Eaters by the name of Baddock. Draco did little to listen to the reason for the poor man's death by You-Know-Who's hand. But whatever it was, he felt certain that the man did not deserve it.

July 11th, 1997

Dearest Draco,

My family and I have fled to France. Many of the pure-bloods are questioning our allegiance, but my parents don't seem to give a care at this point. I haven't even told them about leaving Britain when they've pulled me and Daphne out of the school the morning after Dumbledore's death. I'm sending this letter to you from France.

I desperately hope that you're okay. Please write back, or send me a sign that you are, in fact, alright. I'm very worried about you.