Dominion

Chapter Twenty Six: Pending Assault

Chapter Twenty Six: Pending Assault

I watched Vera breathe.

It was almost calming, watching her take in air. It was so rhythmic, in and out. One after the other. Over and over again. Simple. Essential. Emotions weren't like that. They were complicated. My Grandmother used to tell Ash and I stories about nature and how it would sometimes bring about rain or violent storms, but most of the time it was calm. Serene, even. I likened emotions to those stories, calm most of the time. But when a storm comes along, it hits hard. It leaves its mark. It changes you, whether it's something small and unnoticeable or something huge and unforgettable.

Emotions. They can't be predicted or controlled. Like storms, you just have to deal with them when they come along. And do the best you can. Or hope you're doing the best you can.

"Ssshe isss doing much better," Lizard's voice reminded he was still in the room, pulling me away from my thoughts. "It isss likely ssshe may awaken at any moment."

I nodded, forcing myself together again. "Good," I looked from Vera to Lizard and repeated myself. "Good."

Lizard looked skeptical. Somehow I could read his expressions despite his face not remotely resembling any face I would know how to read. "I have been hesssitant to asssk," he leaned forward in his chair. "Are you okay?"

I didn't respond for a long moment, looking to Vera, and then to the door, and then back to him. I just shook my head. "I don't know. What does that look like?"

"It doesss not look like that," He responded, gesturing to my face, and I almost smiled. But I didn't.

"I wanted to find her so badly, Lizard," I looked down. "I wanted her to be alive so badly. And she is, and I found her. But I don't know what to do," I paused again, standing up and looking nowhere and everywhere. "I gave into some...childish hope that we would just go back to being brother and sister after all this time, but we didn't. We can't. As much as we both want too," I held back my tears. "I couldn't even hug her. My own sister. And I don't understand why."

"My friend," Lizard began, standing up as well, Vera unconscious between us. "I would propossse that your problem isss that you think your way through every sssituation becaussse you believe that every sssituation mussst be over-thought through," he spoke slowly, making an effort to ensure his words reached me. "But I believe that if you were to take a moment and act on your firssst inssstinct asss opposssed to thinking, you may find the resssults to be very sssatisssfactory indeed."

I looked down at Vera, thinking on his words. Letting them sink in. What if he was right? What if I was over-thinking it all and that's what was stopping me from finding the side of myself that would be happy to see my sister? Or what if I just wasn't happy to see her like I thought I should be?

What was left of my childhood after our parents had died had consisted of Paxer teaching me to bury my sister, to bury the pain that came with thinking about her. And I had done that, I had pushed her memory away from me because that's what he told to do. But then I found the bounty posting on her and I thought it had all come back, but what if I was still burying her?

What if my love for her was out of my reach?

"Gregor," the joy in Lizard's voice tore me out of my thoughts. "I believe ssshe isss awakening," he was looking to Vera and I did the same, finding her eyes. They were starting to open, and I found myself smiling a small smile. I was happy to see her. It was easy to be happy to see her. Why was it different with my sister?

"What..." she started to sit up, looking to me as her senses fit themselves back into her body. I remembered the feeling all too well. "Where are we?"