Heartbreak Girl // A.F.I

4

Kelsey's POV // Sydney, Australia
TW // Abuse

The next day, I wake up to the sun shining through my window. I sit up, taking in the calm of the morning, thinking of the night before. I think about what I have to do. It's going to be the most difficult and scary thing that I've ever had to do, but it's necessary. I need to break free from my past once and for all.

I clung onto this relationship with Derek when I was trying to avoid the things I actually wanted. What I felt guilty about. I dug myself into this hole of shame and self-loathing and thought he could pull me out of it, but I was dead wrong about that too. The only thing this relationship did was dig me deeper and deeper into a hole that I couldn't escape for years. It was something that I never thought I would go through in a million years, but fear and the lack of a will to stand up for myself dragged me deeper and deeper, until I almost got used to the fear that he used to keep me. The things he would say to make me think I was crazy and doubt my own sanity were his way of keeping his leash on me. The weight of this has been too much for me to bear, and it's time for me to break free from it.

The worst thing about it, though? I became a person that I wasn't proud of. I wasn't proud for putting up with the mental abuse, the physical abuse, and the liar I became in order to defend his actions. I lied to the people I truly loved the most. My parents, my friends. Lying to the people who helped to keep me going was the worst part of it all. They had no idea about what was to come.

I finally get up, go downstairs, and decide to tell my parents what has been going on, and what I planned to do about it. I hated seeing them cry, but I know how important it was for me to have this conversation with them. They had been as fooled as everyone else was about Derek's act. That's the thing though, right? Sometimes, it's the people you'd least expect to do something so horrendous.

I decide to go straight to Derek's house after talking to my parents. I can't put this off any longer. I text Derek and tell him I'm coming over to talk. Once I arrive, I realize his parents aren't home, and I tense up once again.

We sit down and I start the conversation. As I expected, he quickly becomes angry. He grabs my hand.

"You can't just walk away from this, Kelsey. It's been too long, we've been through too much...I've done so much for you, and now you just want to walk away?" He says, the anger apparent.

"What have you done for me besides cause me pain, Derek? I don't even know what you mean," I say on the verge of tears.

He grabs me suddenly and violently, and fear rises in my chest.

"I was your distraction, wasn't I? From him!?"

"From who?"

"You know what I'm talking about." He says.

Does he mean Ashton? How would he even know that?

"What the fuck do you mean?"

"I saw the way you would look at him, when we started dating. You never stopped loving him, even when you thought you stopped."

I don't say anything, because I realize for once that he's right about something.

"Fucking talk to me!" He yells, and I feel a sharp sting across my cheek that sends me to the floor. He slapped me.

"You don't deserve that, you fucking son of a bitch. We're over, and I fucking mean it," I say, getting off of the floor and running out of the house. I hear his footsteps behind me, but they stop after I get out of the house.

I climb in my car and just start to drive, not caring where I'm going. I park on the side of the road because I couldn't see through all of the tears.