PRETENDING

CHAPTER SIX

I lay next to him with a smile on my face. It has been so long since I had the opportunity to just sit down with a cup of green tea in hand talking to someone without any restrictions, it felt nice, and it still does. It is true, we have done this before but I have refused to acknowledge it because it brings back the feelings that I had for him during our college years. 

During that time I believed that I was straight and was looking forward to finding a wife since I had already agreed to my mother finding the right one for me. But when I first enter my dorm room, I was greeted with the most beautiful person alive, Mark Tuan. He had black hair then which made him look a hole lot whiter. He was wearing basketball shorts and no shirt. He had no shirt with only helped in adding more reasons for my heart to accelerate. And to complement his beauty the moment he spoke, his voice captivated me so much. It was the first time that someone had intrigued me so much to the point that I had to restrained myself from following every movement that he makes. 

Meeting him was great because I was finally able to understand about the emotions that I have always read in the romance novels written by those who have loved and are loving. I finally understood what it meant when it said that you will do anything to see them smile and be next to them. Although I knew well that the feelings that I had for him were not big enough to be called loved but I knew that if given the opportunity they would.  Although I had feelings for him I never acted on them or displayed them because of two reasons: one I needed to focus on school and obtaining my degree, and the second one was the fact that he was straight, a straight player. 

Every day I was kicked out my own  dorm because he brought girl and she was not there for studying. It was infuriating to have to get out because he couldn't keep it in his pants for more than twenty four hours but it was also painful. I liked him yet  I had to see him bring all those girls over so that they can play around wishing that it was me he was talking to and not them.I wished that it was I who he inputting all of his charm on. During that time, I wished that I was a girl in order to have a chance with him. But after freshman year, I master the ability to suppress my feelings and focus on my education and sending my blind dates away. 

After college I made sure to forget about everything that was not related to my career. But having him here so close to me reminds me of the times we slept on the same bed after having a movie marathon, and the times he would sleep on my bed next to me when he comes back drunk. 

Mark thinks that I hate the fact that he enjoys alcoholic beverages, but that is far from the truth. When he gets drunk he gets all adorable and clingy. Its cute seeing him like that, but it was also painful since he would forget it latter. He always forgot the things he said an the actions he made. Always forgot them but I didn't. I couldn't. But had to pretend like I did. It was pure torture to live like that but I was close to him and that was all that matter and apparently still matters, the only difference now is that I no longer have romantic feelings for him and will never do. Not again. I won't go down that hill again, not for him at least. 

Listening to his soft breathing I drifted off to sleep

☁☁☁☁

I wake up to the smell of burned toast and an angry Mark. Getting up from the warm black couch, I walk softly towards the kitchen where an angry Mark is speaking on the phone, with who I assume, is his mother.

"No, I did not called her any of those names!....No I'm not going on another date with her. If I did not liked her then, why would it change now.... Mother I cannot keep doing this.... I have.. well...No mother... But... Fine! But don't call me complaining about my nasty attitude!" he hangs up and slams his phone on my counter top. 

Not noticing my presence he hurriedly walks to the toaster and makes a disgusted face while removing the burned toast. He throws the square charcoal looking bread and and placed new ones

"How would Jinyoung liked his eggs?"

He never addresses my by first name 

"Jinyoung does not eat eggs but he would like a green smoothie" I say coming up behind him with a smirk on my face

He looks at me with wide eyes but then smiles apologetically, "I'm sorry for the mess I have made---" the kitchen is still spotless,"---and for wasting your food. It just that I was hungry and I did not wanted to wake you up  and I thought that it should be fine if I were to make breakfast since you would be hungry as well but then my mother called angry about the last blind date and----"

putting my hand up  I smile, "It's fine. You don't have to explain."

He smiled in relief and continue making his eggs while I took everything out for my green smoothie 

"Mark, do you want some" I ask pointing at my smoothie 

"Sureee"

"If you don't want to that's okay, no need to lie"

he smiles like a child that has just received candy, "I'm sorry it's just that it looks  weird"

"It's okay.  It may look gross but but it tastes fantastic, well for me, and it helps clean your insides"

"I would have never taken you for a super healthy person"

"I'm not, I just happen to love smoothies besides being a high school teacher requiremes me to have a lot of energy to deal with all the students that think that because I'm young they can just boss around"

His smile disappears, "You don't need to deal with such disrespect. You are their superior thus they own you respect, because I know that you respect them inreturn. You don't have to deal with them, just call their parents and they will straighten them out fast"

  Placing my smoothie down I sit next to him, "I can't do that Mark, they're just kids, sure they are about to graduate and go off to college but at the end of the day they are just kids with struggles besides they are nothing, I can handle them."

"Why did you choose to become a teacher either way, I never really understood that about you. You did loved toddlers but teenagers not so much"

"Being able to show those kids that english, or any other language is powerful and essential is something that I love doing. I want to make a difference in someone's life, whether that be just one kid in all my career as a teacher or every single one of my students. Parents are not the only ones that raise a child, teachers do so too. Dure we don't nag at them to do chores or things like that, but we do show them the many things that they can accomplish in the future. We can help them see what else is outside of the world that their parents have imposed on them. That is why I teach, I teach because I want to be someone that can show them the many doors that are opened to them, it doesn't really matter whether it has something to do with the subject I teach or the classes that are provided by the school."

He smiles warmly at me, " You amaze me Park Jinyoung oppa"

Thank you for reading :)