❝yours, tommy❞ | dylmas

10. one last text

nda: hello everyone ♡ I just wanted to let you know that there's going to be some curse words in this chapter - you'll see, Thomas is feeling really down. I hope you don't mind. I personally think this chapter is kind of shorter than the others? I don't know. Lots of love

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Thomas POV

It's been a week now since I got home.

And Dylan haven't answered any of my texts nor phone calls. Last time I heard from him was when I told him I was in a cab on my way home.

And then he vanished.

And I couldn't feel worse. My anxiety is through the roof, mixed up with the depressing thoughts. I had three panic attacks already, thinking I was going to die each time, eventually falling asleep and waking up all alone, checking my phone only to see I didn't receive anything.

I just don't understand why he doesn't answer. We kissed, we shared our feelings, we even told each other I love you's. He told me he was going to miss me so much, so why the fuck is he avoiding me now?

Did he lie to me?

Just the thought of that drives me crazy. But there aren't other explanations, right? Another reason for his behavior would be that he's been kidnapped, but that's unlikely, also, I can see he connects to his social media from times to times, so that's not it.

I guess he just lied. Like he said, he just wanted to try something.

I always said that I wouldn't be mad at Dylan if he didn't want us to be more than friends. But that didn't mean he could toy with me and then throw me away like I'm worthless.

Even though I probably am.

I meant that in a way like... I would have probably told him, in the end, and whatever he would have said would have been okay for me. Want us to be friends? Okay. Want us to be more? Perfect.

Want to kiss, make me believe you love me and then ignore and break me? That's not okay.

Once again I'm hurt, once again I'm all alone but this is way worse knowing that this time it was him. And I never thought he would...

In fits of anger, I get up from my bed and grab everything I can see, throwing everything on the floor, on the walls, breaking stuff, I don't care, my pain is just too big, my anger too strong. I'm angry at Dylan. I'm angry at myself. I'm fucking angry. I'm fucking hurt. I can't take it anymore. I punch my fists into the wall, again, and again, until my hands hurt more than my heart does.

Good job, Thomas, you're bleeding. I walk into the bathroom and bandage my wounded hands before crawling under my blankets, doing all of this mechanically because my brain finally shut up -and also because I'm kind of used to.

So I just stay there, laying in my bed, staring at the ceiling while tears of exhaustion roll down my temples. Grabbing my phone, I decide to send one last text to Dylan.

To: my flower✿: Dylan, this is the last text I send you. At first, I thought something had happened to you but now I think you just don't want to hear from me anymore and want me to leave you alone. So, I'm going to. Just so you know, I'm deadly worried, but I think you just don't care. I hope you're safe anyway. Bye

Two minutes after that, I can hear my phone buzzing and my heart immediately starts beating faster in anticipation.

But it's a text from Ki Hong.